Thursday, May 22, 2014

I don't want it to make sense.


Recently I was talking with a couple moms I know and one of them was sharing about some hard things she's been going through. Her mom is sick. Her dad is sick. None of her siblings will take care of them. And so she took medicine to medicine to lose a baby. What? Who took medicine for what? I was pregnant, but I don't have time to take care of another baby. No one would be able to take care of my parents. I slipped at the market one day and started bleeding, so I took medicine to make sure. I didn't want the baby though.

And just before this I heard friends of mine miscarried. Friends who wanted a baby. Who still want a baby.

And I don't really understand. I don't want it to make sense in my mind though, because it shouldn't make sense.

A mom who left her three daughters with their grandmother when their dad and her husband died comes back a few years later after little to no communication with them at all. Comes back wanting to be involved in their lives, wanting to raise them, trying to prove she means it, but her mom will not let her take them. The grandmother is afraid the mom's new husband will harm or sell the girls. The grandmother is angry that her daughter left for so long leaving all the responsibility to her and now wants them back. She doesn't trust her. The mother is arguing that they're not being well taken care of, says they're not allowed to talk to her even though they live in the same place. And we can talk to the mom and the new husband. And we can go to the other side of the house and talk to the grandmother, but they won't really talk to each other. And yet there are three little girls who really just need to be well taken care of.

And I don't really understand. I don't want it to make sense in my mind though, because it shouldn't make sense. It was never meant to be this way. So much in this world was never meant to be this way.

"If you find within yourself longings that nothing in this world can satisfy it can only mean you were made for another world." - C.S. Lewis

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