More than a decade ago my brother wrote a song that says ". . . whether we even taste it this is life. . ." and what's growing inside my heart these days is more and more of a desire to really live this life, to really taste it, because we can live half awake dwelling in the monotony of our days or we can immerse ourselves in all that's around us and embrace the life that's placed before us.
and some days that's going to be marked by joy and some days that's going to be marked by pain. Tasting life is bittersweet sometimes, but I don't want to miss any of it.
some days life is taking my friend for her first ultrasound and being there when she finds out her fourth baby is going to be a girl just as she was hoping for.
some days my life is seeing an old man dying and his family asking me to help buy him food when that's not even the answer to the situation, when what he really needs is to be in the hospital, but they don't get it, they aren't willing to do what it would take to help him stay at the hospital.
some days it's hearing one of my girls is now first in her class at school and seeing her trying so hard to do so well and seeing her working even now to be the best doctor she can be in the future. And not knowing what makes me happier - seeing her doing so well or seeing her grandparents, her mom, her aunts and uncles so proud of her and encouraging her.
some days it's a small boy asking if I can give him rice too, because his mom is gone trying to work, but hasn't been able to make enough money for food.
every day it's being greeted by small voices wherever I go calling out my name and fighting over who gets to hold my fingers not realizing I really just love them all.
some days days my life is when I get to introduce one of our kids to the people who have been sponsoring her and the response is sheer joy and love all around.
some days it's when my friend says her daughter wants to meet me before I leave - and she didn't tell her daughter to say anything to me - and so I meet her and she wants to know if I can help her with her school fees because she doesn't have enough money.
some days it's moms saying they want their kids to come study and work with us when they grow up and I agree saying I want that too and I can see in another ten years we will have plenty of staff.
some days the needs of my friends seem so very pressing and heavy until I take a deep breath and realize I'm actually blessed beyond measure that my many, many friends trust me enough to ask for help, to share their stories with me, for all that I've done seems so small, but Jesus is into multiplying it.
So there are days when I come away saying there is nothing more I could ask for and there are days when I come away saying there is nothing more I can give, but this is life. And I want to really taste this life that is before me.