Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I want them to know hope.

I spent most of my day today holding one of the smallest babies I've ever seen. Sophat was born a little early - two months early to be as exact as we can be. He is 17 days old today though and he is a fighter.
I picked him up early this morning from a hospital here in town to transfer him to the children's hospital in another city.
When we were first on my way I was far more concerned about this little buddy than I had been the past several days, however, I think I merely discovered that he is not a morning person. He perked up a bit after eating and sleeping a little while longer.

Sophat's parents decided they did not want him after he was born because he was so small and would be so difficult for them to care for, being already poor - so they left him at the hospital. He was labeled abandoned and the hospital asked if we could please take him.

After a couple hours in the taxi with him and filling out paperwork and multiple doctor's exams and questions I was sitting in the NICU with him waiting and thinking. I was looking out at the room full of beds on the other side of the glass and watching different mothers and children interacting with each other. I was realizing that today is probably the only day so far that Sophat has been held for more than a few minutes at a time. I knew there was very little chance that anyone had ever sung to him like the mom next to me was doing for her little baby.

I do wonder how someone could abandon a child, but that is not the first thing that comes to mind when I look at Sophat. I do not know what it would be like to feel as hopeless as his parent's must have felt when they made the decision to leave him at the hospital, believing if they took him home it would only end with them burying him. I do not know what it would feel like to carry a baby for seven months and then for him to be born early and so small. I do not understand what it is to be so much in need that I could not provide for my own child. And I do not know all of the reasons why Sophat's parents made the decision that they did.

What I do know is this: Sophat will have an amazing future. Sophat is a very loved and wanted little baby. There are many people praying for this little buddy. There are many people working to do what they can to see him pull through. And after hearing him scream until his whole body was bright red and all his veins were sticking out while the doctor's were taking some blood I think he's fighting too. And whether we can work it out for him to safely go back to his family's home and grow up there or whether he ends up adopted somewhere I believe Sophat will grow up in a family where he knows he is loved.

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