beyond me
Today and many days lately I am broken by the need around me, broken in good ways and overwhelming ways.
Good because I want my heart to hurt for the hurting around me, for those whose struggles are more real than I will probably ever know.
Overwhelming because it surrounds me. People I love and have known for years who are still struggling to feed their families, new people I keep meeting every time I go visit my friends. And the truth is that while I want to help them all, I can't and I don't like choosing.
A few weeks ago I was taking a young friend of mine to buy rice for her family. Someone I don't know sent money for us to buy food for a family for a year. It's been several months of us helping this one family already now. I was down near her house when her mom told me they were almost out of rice again, so I took her daughter to get more rice. As we were driving I asked her if she was hungry. She was. She said she goes to sleep hungry almost every day. We bought a little bit more than just rice that day, but what about all the tomorrows?
That same afternoon someone else asked me if I could help her niece and niece's baby. The baby's dad is gone and the mom can't nurse. The little boy was only a few weeks old and the sweet milk they could afford is horrible for a baby's development, was making him sick and yet was their only feasible option.
Last week I met twin girls, they're only just a week old now. They don't have a dad. Only one of their older siblings lives with them and their mom, and Aunt and cousins. The other siblings are spread out amongst relatives. The older of the twins is doing alright, but when I saw them today the younger one wasn't doing well. She was in the hospital here last week, but they released her. We're sending her to the children's hospital in a different city tomorrow. I'm praying she makes it until tomorrow.
Today some friends asked me to help buy some food for an old man. He doesn't have anyone to take care of him. His children live with a different organization and they aren't allowed to leave school to come take care of him, so he is by himself and can't go to the hospital for surgery because there is no one to sign a release for it and to take care of him as he recovers.
Many of my friends want to work, but can't find jobs. They could not afford to go to school as children, so now as adults they have limited jobs available to them and are fighting for their own children to be able to go to school so the cycle will end somewhere.
And so how do you choose which baby you give formula to and which baby you say you can't help? And how do you look at an old man dying and a young baby struggling to breathe and help one, but not the other, because somehow we do have to choose even though it's hard. So at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have a God who is big enough for all of these situations and I just want to be found faithful, having done what I've been asked to do and trusting him to take care of all of the things which are beyond me.
Good because I want my heart to hurt for the hurting around me, for those whose struggles are more real than I will probably ever know.
Overwhelming because it surrounds me. People I love and have known for years who are still struggling to feed their families, new people I keep meeting every time I go visit my friends. And the truth is that while I want to help them all, I can't and I don't like choosing.
A few weeks ago I was taking a young friend of mine to buy rice for her family. Someone I don't know sent money for us to buy food for a family for a year. It's been several months of us helping this one family already now. I was down near her house when her mom told me they were almost out of rice again, so I took her daughter to get more rice. As we were driving I asked her if she was hungry. She was. She said she goes to sleep hungry almost every day. We bought a little bit more than just rice that day, but what about all the tomorrows?
That same afternoon someone else asked me if I could help her niece and niece's baby. The baby's dad is gone and the mom can't nurse. The little boy was only a few weeks old and the sweet milk they could afford is horrible for a baby's development, was making him sick and yet was their only feasible option.
Last week I met twin girls, they're only just a week old now. They don't have a dad. Only one of their older siblings lives with them and their mom, and Aunt and cousins. The other siblings are spread out amongst relatives. The older of the twins is doing alright, but when I saw them today the younger one wasn't doing well. She was in the hospital here last week, but they released her. We're sending her to the children's hospital in a different city tomorrow. I'm praying she makes it until tomorrow.
Today some friends asked me to help buy some food for an old man. He doesn't have anyone to take care of him. His children live with a different organization and they aren't allowed to leave school to come take care of him, so he is by himself and can't go to the hospital for surgery because there is no one to sign a release for it and to take care of him as he recovers.
Many of my friends want to work, but can't find jobs. They could not afford to go to school as children, so now as adults they have limited jobs available to them and are fighting for their own children to be able to go to school so the cycle will end somewhere.
And so how do you choose which baby you give formula to and which baby you say you can't help? And how do you look at an old man dying and a young baby struggling to breathe and help one, but not the other, because somehow we do have to choose even though it's hard. So at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have a God who is big enough for all of these situations and I just want to be found faithful, having done what I've been asked to do and trusting him to take care of all of the things which are beyond me.
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