How can you love?
Such a combination of emotions today. So much of not knowing what in the world is going on or what I'm supposed to do about it. At the beginning of the week one of the boys from the orphanage was in the referral hospital with a fever, so I went to visit him. While I was there I met another lady with her two little kids. She was supposed to leave the hospital because her baby was healthy already and she can't just keep staying there. I could not take her kids like she asked me to though, so if she could not take care of them she should take them to the orphanage - that's what people do here, so she agrees to go to the government orphanage with me and we meet the director. This mom, who is not all there and who smells too much of alcohol then decides she doesn't really want to give her kids up if she can't stay with them even just one night and she'll go home in the morning, so lots of moms are trying to help her understand and make a decision that's best for her kids - her 14 month old who looks about 4 months and weighs only a few kilos and her 2 or 3 year old, Cloke, who is so precious.
She wants them all to go home. She won't change her mind and maybe it really is best. I don't know.
So Barbara meets me out from with a tuk-tuk. It's already been over an hour since we got to the orphanage and her kids have now at least eaten, but she won't eat.
So we get in the tuk-tuk and go to her village - only she can't really find it and we're driving back and forth near the military hospital asking a few people even - do you know this lady?
Barbara got permission from the military hospital for them to stay the night there and they can go home in the morning. She doesn't like that idea when we get to the hospital though and so we are there and this guy who works there knows the village and the village leader's phone number. Random. So he calls him and tells the driver how to get near there. So this guy comes with us too. And so we go back down the road- farther down this time and the pavement ends. And we turn left down another little mud road. And at the next left the tuk-tuk driver stops. He'll wait for us. And so we walk in the mud flinging it straight up our backs as we try to hold onto our shoes as she leads us down some little roads to her home. And I am carrying this little girl trying not to slip and the only light we have is from the flashlight on my cell phone. So we make it to her home where she doesn't want us to leave, but we must. We'll try to go back sometime. Our new friend helped me make it back through the slipperiest parts by holding my arm up. We get back to the kindest most patient driver ever and drop our new friend off at the hospital again before going home finally. I am covered in mud when I get home and have to clean off at the pump out back before I can even come inside. More than three hours later I get back. My bike is at Pisey's house at the orphanage. I'll have to go get it tomorrow.
And then I don't know. I wanted to cry at the hospital. I wanted to lose it and I knew I was going to for a while as I was going to the orphanage telling this mom she should leave her kids there. And then I started laughing. You just have to laugh or you can't keep going.
But what do you do when a mom can't feed her kids?
How do you teach her?
What do you do when they ask you to take their kids?
What do you do when you see a mom feeding her baby sweet milk because formula is too expensive?
How do you fight to keep families together and intact when the only choice for her if she can't feed them is to give them away?
Is it love to give them up?
Is it love to keep them?
And if she really is getting abused what do you do to help her?
And how do you make a difference when each week or sometimes each day you meet another child and another family and you have to do something to help them, but you don't know what?
What can you do?
How can you help them for more than a day?
How can you love?
She wants them all to go home. She won't change her mind and maybe it really is best. I don't know.
So Barbara meets me out from with a tuk-tuk. It's already been over an hour since we got to the orphanage and her kids have now at least eaten, but she won't eat.
So we get in the tuk-tuk and go to her village - only she can't really find it and we're driving back and forth near the military hospital asking a few people even - do you know this lady?
Barbara got permission from the military hospital for them to stay the night there and they can go home in the morning. She doesn't like that idea when we get to the hospital though and so we are there and this guy who works there knows the village and the village leader's phone number. Random. So he calls him and tells the driver how to get near there. So this guy comes with us too. And so we go back down the road- farther down this time and the pavement ends. And we turn left down another little mud road. And at the next left the tuk-tuk driver stops. He'll wait for us. And so we walk in the mud flinging it straight up our backs as we try to hold onto our shoes as she leads us down some little roads to her home. And I am carrying this little girl trying not to slip and the only light we have is from the flashlight on my cell phone. So we make it to her home where she doesn't want us to leave, but we must. We'll try to go back sometime. Our new friend helped me make it back through the slipperiest parts by holding my arm up. We get back to the kindest most patient driver ever and drop our new friend off at the hospital again before going home finally. I am covered in mud when I get home and have to clean off at the pump out back before I can even come inside. More than three hours later I get back. My bike is at Pisey's house at the orphanage. I'll have to go get it tomorrow.
And then I don't know. I wanted to cry at the hospital. I wanted to lose it and I knew I was going to for a while as I was going to the orphanage telling this mom she should leave her kids there. And then I started laughing. You just have to laugh or you can't keep going.
But what do you do when a mom can't feed her kids?
How do you teach her?
What do you do when they ask you to take their kids?
What do you do when you see a mom feeding her baby sweet milk because formula is too expensive?
How do you fight to keep families together and intact when the only choice for her if she can't feed them is to give them away?
Is it love to give them up?
Is it love to keep them?
And if she really is getting abused what do you do to help her?
And how do you make a difference when each week or sometimes each day you meet another child and another family and you have to do something to help them, but you don't know what?
What can you do?
How can you help them for more than a day?
How can you love?
Comments