waiting
I get asked often how things are going with the boys' adoption or getting their passports.
Sometimes I have exciting answers - like the day in March when we found out the court approved the adoption.
Most of the times my answer is that we are still waiting. We have spent more time waiting than I ever thought we would.
I have heard stories of people who waited 8 years for their adoption to be finalized. I have also heard stories of people who went from start to finish in less than 6 months.
We are waiting.
I have had lots of practice in waiting. There's a tricky balance to find here in waiting when we do not know how long it will take, when we do not know when the waiting will be finished, so we don't know exactly how to prepare for it.
I've had our boys for 6 years now. It's been 3 years since I started all the paperwork for the adoption and we've made huge steps forward for which I am so grateful. This last step - these passports that we need feels a bit like a brick wall if you ask me though.
I've noticed a pattern in this whole process. It's a complicated process that has worked out for us so far, but not in any of the amount of time we imagined it would. (Hence all this waiting.) This little pattern that has shown up though makes each step take a little longer than you ever thought it could and adds a few more steps in that you never knew existed. And the longer this takes the less surprised I find myself when things are taking longer than expected, but it also means I'm already expecting it to take longer than you'd think it could.
So we play this waiting game.
And this waiting game uses my patience.
Because it's a choice I make each day not to be frustrated by not knowing when we'll hear from the person we need to hear from. And as the days turn into weeks and the weeks add up into months it's easy to get lost in what every day looks like and forget to pray for papers to be signed and approved - and for that phone call to finally come.
There's been times that I have called a person every day just to check in on how things are going. Most of those phone calls were answered politely and I was kindly told that I did not need to call every day because she would call me when she had an answer. Some of those phone calls were not answered at all.
Most of the time it's just waiting.
And I have thought about calling so many times, that one phone number of the one person who knows more than you. But you can't call right now - it's lunch break. the boys are being too noisy. it's after work hours. And maybe if you wait one more day you won't need to make the dreaded phone call... because I'm not one of those people who loves to talk on the phone, but maybe, just maybe if I wait one more day I won't need to call because they will call me.
And then I finally made the phone call to the only phone number I knew that could help us. And he doesn't know. It's moving through offices outside of his control. He told us where to go to find out what is happening, so we will go see those people in hopes that they have an answer for us and these days of waiting will draw to a close.
So we are waiting each day by living. By filling our days with school and play and work and by filling our prayers with hope and asking. And waiting.
Sometimes I have exciting answers - like the day in March when we found out the court approved the adoption.
Most of the times my answer is that we are still waiting. We have spent more time waiting than I ever thought we would.
I have heard stories of people who waited 8 years for their adoption to be finalized. I have also heard stories of people who went from start to finish in less than 6 months.
We are waiting.
I have had lots of practice in waiting. There's a tricky balance to find here in waiting when we do not know how long it will take, when we do not know when the waiting will be finished, so we don't know exactly how to prepare for it.
I've had our boys for 6 years now. It's been 3 years since I started all the paperwork for the adoption and we've made huge steps forward for which I am so grateful. This last step - these passports that we need feels a bit like a brick wall if you ask me though.
I've noticed a pattern in this whole process. It's a complicated process that has worked out for us so far, but not in any of the amount of time we imagined it would. (Hence all this waiting.) This little pattern that has shown up though makes each step take a little longer than you ever thought it could and adds a few more steps in that you never knew existed. And the longer this takes the less surprised I find myself when things are taking longer than expected, but it also means I'm already expecting it to take longer than you'd think it could.
So we play this waiting game.
And this waiting game uses my patience.
Because it's a choice I make each day not to be frustrated by not knowing when we'll hear from the person we need to hear from. And as the days turn into weeks and the weeks add up into months it's easy to get lost in what every day looks like and forget to pray for papers to be signed and approved - and for that phone call to finally come.
There's been times that I have called a person every day just to check in on how things are going. Most of those phone calls were answered politely and I was kindly told that I did not need to call every day because she would call me when she had an answer. Some of those phone calls were not answered at all.
Most of the time it's just waiting.
And I have thought about calling so many times, that one phone number of the one person who knows more than you. But you can't call right now - it's lunch break. the boys are being too noisy. it's after work hours. And maybe if you wait one more day you won't need to make the dreaded phone call... because I'm not one of those people who loves to talk on the phone, but maybe, just maybe if I wait one more day I won't need to call because they will call me.
And then I finally made the phone call to the only phone number I knew that could help us. And he doesn't know. It's moving through offices outside of his control. He told us where to go to find out what is happening, so we will go see those people in hopes that they have an answer for us and these days of waiting will draw to a close.
So we are waiting each day by living. By filling our days with school and play and work and by filling our prayers with hope and asking. And waiting.
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