Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year!

Some friends and I were talking recently about how we missed doing a Christmas newsletter or update, so maybe it would become more of a recap of the past year instead. My hesitation in doing that is sounding depressing, but the reality is it's been a hard year. If I could change some of what happened, I would. I can't though. Today I am grateful, very grateful that I was able to walk alongside of my friends through many rough times because I hope that they saw Jesus and know more of love now than they did before. I hope that they know more of his heart for them. I hope they understand it was never meant to be this way.

All of it is beyond me though. I look at me right now and maybe I'm in the best place I can be, because I have nothing left. I'm tired. I'm busy. I do not know how to help my friends and there are far too many people I have wanted to help for a long time and have yet to follow through on. It's not about me though, so tomorrow I will wake up and I will start a new year. And I will do my best to love the people in front of me and to love Jesus well. I don't have the answers, but I know the one who does. I can't solve your problems, but I know someone who can help. And I need him just as much as you do, so let's go find him together. It will be more fun that way.

And tonight I can be excited for a new year because new things can be good and in the way that one day turns into another they can bring change that is hopefully gentle and kind.

So I'm hoping for a year where no babies die, no kids are abused and marriages and families grow stronger and healthier. But even if that doesn't happen. Even if a baby dies. Even if a little girl is abused. Even if we have to transfer a child to an orphanage. Even if, even if anything - I still choose to believe in the goodness of God and his heart for all of us. I still believe He is worth it. I still believe his heart is for justice in this world. And I still choose to fight for it. In little ways. Every day. Even when I'm tired.

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