hope for one

I love kids – most of the kids I’ve ever met I love. There are some kids that are just special though – it’s not that I love them more than other kids, but that’s a pretty easy way to say it – there is something about some of them that make you have to love them more.

We first met Vicheka and her brother Samuel when she was about 9 months old. Samuel would have been 6 or 7 at the time. Their mom has AIDS and after being unsuccessful at finding work in Cambodia at that point was looking for somewhere to send her kids so she could go work in Thailand.

I remember going that day not knowing if we were going to need to find a home for 2 more kids. I remember leaving after having met them not knowing how a mother could ever process through actually consciously choosing to give her kids away. She was fully expecting us to leave with them that day. And I do not know if she felt relieved to find that we were not going to take them. I like to think so, to believe that the mother’s heart in her loves her sweet children and wants to be a part of their lives; to watch them grow up and learn and love and change the world.

I remember giving Vicheka her first pair of shoes when she was about a year old. She is a shy little sweet pea, probably partially because of her disposition and partially because she only sees two of us about twice a month and there is no real guarantee which two of us she’ll see. This day she had warmed up to me quite a bit. She was sitting on my lap and I helped her try her new shoes on. When little kids put shoes on for the first time their facial expressions are so precious and their little steps so tentative as they learn to walk again and balance the weight of these little shoes attached to their feet.

Vicheka is now a few months over 2 years old and she is still quiet and still precious and from the stories I heard last week much more adventuresome. (She left church a few weeks ago while everyone was praying. They noticed she was gone in just a few minutes, but by the time they found her she was about 500 meters down a road full of traffic.)

Last week I heard that her mom is not doing so well again and is looking for someone to raise her kids, so she can go find work. Samuel could be alright because he goes to school all day and is old enough to be safe at home. There is no one to really take care of Vicheka though if the mom leaves. The grandmother is busy with her own work and the grandfather is mostly blind – and Vicheka likes streets. . . In some ways I understand why she is looking for somewhere for Vicheka to live. In other ways I don’t get it at all. I do not understand how you could want to send your daughter away – even just for a few years. And a large part of it probably has to do with the fact that I have never experienced the kind of hopelessness she’s feeling right now. Not having work. Not having enough food. Not having a means to support your family. Not feeling well. Not knowing how long your health will hold up. But giving your kids away cannot be the answer. It is not what’s best for any of you – and I really believe that. And as hopeless as we may be, we have to remember there is a much greater hope we possess and it is not based on any circumstances and it is not changed by any circumstances and we can hold onto this hope in everything.

And so I talked with Vicheka’s mom and I tried to offer her some ideas of what she could do and I do not have many right now. I just asked her not to do anything this month – to not give her away this month so that we can try to come up with something. And honestly, I do not know what will happen. I do not know if Vicheka will be there when we go back to visit in another month, but I really hope she is. I really pray she is and that God brings his best resolution to this family’s circumstances. If you think of it, it would be great if you could hope and pray for Vicheka and her family along with me.