Laura Altemus

hope for one

2012-02-10T07:45:00.003-05:00

I love kids – most of the kids I’ve ever met I love. There are some kids that are just special though – it’s not that I love them more than other kids, but that’s a pretty easy way to say it – there is something about some of them that make you have to love them more.

We first met Vicheka and her brother Samuel when she was about 9 months old. Samuel would have been 6 or 7 at the time. Their mom has AIDS and after being unsuccessful at finding work in Cambodia at that point was looking for somewhere to send her kids so she could go work in Thailand.

I remember going that day not knowing if we were going to need to find a home for 2 more kids. I remember leaving after having met them not knowing how a mother could ever process through actually consciously choosing to give her kids away. She was fully expecting us to leave with them that day. And I do not know if she felt relieved to find that we were not going to take them. I like to think so, to believe that the mother’s heart in her loves her sweet children and wants to be a part of their lives; to watch them grow up and learn and love and change the world.

I remember giving Vicheka her first pair of shoes when she was about a year old. She is a shy little sweet pea, probably partially because of her disposition and partially because she only sees two of us about twice a month and there is no real guarantee which two of us she’ll see. This day she had warmed up to me quite a bit. She was sitting on my lap and I helped her try her new shoes on. When little kids put shoes on for the first time their facial expressions are so precious and their little steps so tentative as they learn to walk again and balance the weight of these little shoes attached to their feet.

Vicheka is now a few months over 2 years old and she is still quiet and still precious and from the stories I heard last week much more adventuresome. (She left church a few weeks ago while everyone was praying. They noticed she was gone in just a few minutes, but by the time they found her she was about 500 meters down a road full of traffic.)

Last week I heard that her mom is not doing so well again and is looking for someone to raise her kids, so she can go find work. Samuel could be alright because he goes to school all day and is old enough to be safe at home. There is no one to really take care of Vicheka though if the mom leaves. The grandmother is busy with her own work and the grandfather is mostly blind – and Vicheka likes streets. . . In some ways I understand why she is looking for somewhere for Vicheka to live. In other ways I don’t get it at all. I do not understand how you could want to send your daughter away – even just for a few years. And a large part of it probably has to do with the fact that I have never experienced the kind of hopelessness she’s feeling right now. Not having work. Not having enough food. Not having a means to support your family. Not feeling well. Not knowing how long your health will hold up. But giving your kids away cannot be the answer. It is not what’s best for any of you – and I really believe that. And as hopeless as we may be, we have to remember there is a much greater hope we possess and it is not based on any circumstances and it is not changed by any circumstances and we can hold onto this hope in everything.

And so I talked with Vicheka’s mom and I tried to offer her some ideas of what she could do and I do not have many right now. I just asked her not to do anything this month – to not give her away this month so that we can try to come up with something. And honestly, I do not know what will happen. I do not know if Vicheka will be there when we go back to visit in another month, but I really hope she is. I really pray she is and that God brings his best resolution to this family’s circumstances. If you think of it, it would be great if you could hope and pray for Vicheka and her family along with me.

well loved.

2012-02-02T03:51:00.002-05:00

I am well loved. ridiculously well loved.
I have many, many friends who are exceedingly excited to meet my mother when she comes to visit. I have been asked - and almost told - that I must bring her to their home, so they can meet her. I assured them that is the plan - she wants to meet the people I love here.
I have friends who recruit other children and families for us to help - when we're not even looking for new ones. They do know we'll try to help whoever we can though.
I have friends who feed me rats and snacks and buy me shakes - friends who are giving generously out of their plenty or out of their lack.
and I have friends who give their time to so sweetly serve.
I am so very well loved and I am grateful.

sweetness

2012-02-02T03:34:00.003-05:00

I recently found out one of my friends, one of the moms of a family we work with, is pregnant again. She wasn't really planning on it, didn't actually realize it until just now.
And I am torn inside because I want to be happy for her at the same time as it has real concern attached.
She's one of the most amazing mom's I've met here. Her three children are very well taken care of, they're each kind and loving and you can tell it comes from her raising and caring for them. She consistently works to provide for her family. She does what she can and prays for God to fill the lack - and she is so very teachable and helpful. She helps us cook and clean any time we ask - and sometimes even when we don't. Even as she was telling me about her pregnancy and we talked about all of it, she decided she's going to bring a portion of her paycheck to me each month so I can save it for her to help pay for the baby's birth and for the months she'll need to take off work.
And honestly - she's amazing. She gets it. She doesn't want everything handed to her. She doesn't agree with living that way, but she also acknowledges that she needs help, so I am so excited for her in this - and then sad because she and her husband both have AIDS and we don't know how long they will be healthy or if the baby will be okay.

So my prayer for this new baby is that she is not only born healthy, but that she is able to grow up with her family and that she will know how very wanted she is.

Tears

2012-01-19T09:02:00.002-05:00

Tonight I got home much later than I thought I was going to and found out Ruen had had a bit of a rough evening. I was talking with him about what happened before he went to sleep. For maybe the first time in the past year and a half that he's lived here he said he was upset because he wanted to see his mom, to go home and he cried.

And I can explain why he's here, why he's not there, why he's going to stay here for now, how I'm so happy that he is here, how I love having him here and would love if he was always here and I can pray with him, but the ache was there in full force tonight for my little buddy and it was so sad to see him missing the smiles, joy and energy that normally mark his days.

He's growing up and starting to process life. I hope tomorrow the world looks a little kinder to him and is filled with a little more joy.

this is life

2012-01-09T09:35:00.002-05:00

More than a decade ago my brother wrote a song that says ". . . whether we even taste it this is life. . ." and what's growing inside my heart these days is more and more of a desire to really live this life, to really taste it, because we can live half awake dwelling in the monotony of our days or we can immerse ourselves in all that's around us and embrace the life that's placed before us.

and some days that's going to be marked by joy and some days that's going to be marked by pain. Tasting life is bittersweet sometimes, but I don't want to miss any of it.

some days life is taking my friend for her first ultrasound and being there when she finds out her fourth baby is going to be a girl just as she was hoping for.

some days my life is seeing an old man dying and his family asking me to help buy him food when that's not even the answer to the situation, when what he really needs is to be in the hospital, but they don't get it, they aren't willing to do what it would take to help him stay at the hospital.

some days it's hearing one of my girls is now first in her class at school and seeing her trying so hard to do so well and seeing her working even now to be the best doctor she can be in the future. And not knowing what makes me happier - seeing her doing so well or seeing her grandparents, her mom, her aunts and uncles so proud of her and encouraging her.

some days it's a small boy asking if I can give him rice too, because his mom is gone trying to work, but hasn't been able to make enough money for food.

every day it's being greeted by small voices wherever I go calling out my name and fighting over who gets to hold my fingers not realizing I really just love them all.

some days days my life is when I get to introduce one of our kids to the people who have been sponsoring her and the response is sheer joy and love all around.

some days it's when my friend says her daughter wants to meet me before I leave - and she didn't tell her daughter to say anything to me - and so I meet her and she wants to know if I can help her with her school fees because she doesn't have enough money.

some days it's moms saying they want their kids to come study and work with us when they grow up and I agree saying I want that too and I can see in another ten years we will have plenty of staff.

some days the needs of my friends seem so very pressing and heavy until I take a deep breath and realize I'm actually blessed beyond measure that my many, many friends trust me enough to ask for help, to share their stories with me, for all that I've done seems so small, but Jesus is into multiplying it.

So there are days when I come away saying there is nothing more I could ask for and there are days when I come away saying there is nothing more I can give, but this is life. And I want to really taste this life that is before me.

Contentment

2012-01-07T21:58:00.004-05:00

Content. In one word if I had to describe my life right now that would do it. Dreaming of the future and imagining what may come, but content looking at all that is right now. I don't know how it gets to be any better than this.

Christmas day Ruen (an 8 year old wonder who has lived here for a year and a half) and I - well first we read Charlie Brown's Christmas, cause it's one of his favorites and then we had a real talk about what this Christmas thing is all about. He gets it - it's the best birthday party ever and we're celebrating because Jesus came for all our troubles. And then we played.

After dinner we watched Elf cause that should be one of everyone's favorites and while his English is not quite good enough to quote the film he could easily give a play by play one what scenes are coming up and when to laugh.

When we got home far past bedtime he prayed with me for Jesus to forgive him and make his home in his heart - and for the Holy Spirit to please help him get it right.

And he went to sleep and I left his room knowing this had been the most excellent of Christmases and more than anything that could have happened that day this was good and precious and eternal.

As Charles Dickens wrote "and whenever the fire within me shall grow cold, to light my path upon this earth no more, i pray that it may be at such an hour as this, and when i love the world as well as i do now."*

I feel very far from wanting to leave this world because I am in love with what God lets me do each day and I want to see what happens as the years go by, but - the sentiment is the same nonetheless: contentedness.

*Charles Dickens in "Mr Humphrey's Clock"

justice and righteousness

2011-12-28T06:37:00.002-05:00

Justice and righteousness are two words that burn in me. I want to live a life of righteousness, a life marked by integrity; and I want to live a life that brings justice where it is being denied. I believe that's God's heart for all of us, but what does that mean and what does that look like?

What do you do when you see injustice? When you're faced with it every day and yet you feel like your hands are tied behind your back.

Shortly after I first moved here twin boys came to one of the orphanages we worked with. They were about 11 months old when they got there. Their mom dropped them off because their dad was no longer around and she couldn't care for them. She came from another province because she heard how good this orphanage was, so even there you know she loved these boys and I'd say wanted the best for them, which she believed she couldn't give them.

The older twin's name meant treasure. The younger one's name meant abundant and when I learned the meaning of their names I was again amazed at the beauty of their mom's love for them and left to wonder at how broken it must have made her to leave her boys at an orphanage for someone else to raise.

After about 4 months in the orphanage one of the twins was adopted by a family in Italy. We knew it was coming, but we weren't there the day they actually came and took him away. His brother wasn't there either. The workers took him to a different house in the orphanage, so he wouldn't be seen; so they didn't have to explain why they were separating brothers, twins, who had already suffered more loss in their lives than any child should have to face.

And so one twin was left with a broken heart and for six months he waited for a family to come take him home. But there was a piece of him that was already gone.

The day came when another Italian family came and took him away and I missed that day too, but I prayed, as I had ever since the first twin left, that somehow they would find each other. At least they were both in Italy now – and they were pretty stinking identical.

A year after the second twin was adopted one of the workers at the orphanage said some visitors were asking for my email address. Shortly after that I received an email from the second adoptive family wanted to know if I had any information about his health or his family. I got to tell them that he has a twin brother who lives somewhere else in Italy. And that both boys had a mother who loved them and gave them names full of beautiful meaning. She loved them so much she came back last year to see how they were doing and if they had been adopted or not yet. They were both already gone.

Several years have passed and they still haven't found each other, but at least the ignorance is broken. And when I look at the faithfulness of God in this story so far and in countless other stories I can't help but hope and believe that someday I will get a picture, not just of the one boy growing up, but of him standing next to his brother again.

In Jeremiah 22:3 God says, “Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the alien, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.”

So what do you do when you're face to face with injustice. What do you do when it's staring right back at you through the eyes of a baby girl who's asking how come you get to live your life and I'm living mine? I don't entirely know the answer, but I know that you have to do something. Living a life of justice is about doing something, doing anything except apathetically doing nothing. And everyone can doing something.

verse 16 says “He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me? Declares the Lord.”

Sometimes I grow discouraged even though we're commanded not to. It comes when I think about my life and think about how normal it feels and I forget that what we're doing here is far from normal. It comes with knowing there will always be people all around me in great need. And that it's not the times when those epic monumental stories happen that make your life, but it's what you do each day that builds your character and defines who you are.

There was a little girl in my old neighborhood who was being raised by some friends, she has been for most of her life, because her mom is a prostitute. A couple years ago her mom came to visit one day. The next day she came back and took the little girl with her without packing anything, without talking to anyone or telling anyone anything. All we knew was that her mom had just remarried. They tried to go find the little girl, they went to the mom's house and to all other the other places they could think of. They talked to different people who said they thought they had gone to this place or that place. Time kept drawing out longer and longer and with it the likelihood of finding the girl again decreased. Seriously, they were going on ridiculous little roads to places way out in the middle of nowhere – which really does exist here – and they were taking boats up the river to whole communities that are just floating around. Then one day they found her. In a boat with her mom and some other relatives. They brought her home. Her mom had told her the family she was living with didn't want her anymore and that they'd packed up and left her. See, finding a girl after she's been missing for a few weeks, doesn't just happen. The people who were looking for her weren't stopping and they didn't know what to do, but they knew God was faithful and he knew where she was. He'd never left her side as she sat in the boat. Broken. Waiting. Wondering.

A couple years ago I was going down to the slum a few times a week. One of the teenage guys there was interested in studying English at the Youth Center, but he didn't know the alphabet yet, so I said I could help him learn the letters so he would do better in the beginning level one class the following quarter. One afternoon as I was walking to his house I saw a mom bathing her very little baby girl. I asked her how old she was – just six days – and she was so cute! Somehow I had missed the fact her mom was even pregnant, although to my credit I hadn't really talked to her before that. And so as I said hello to this little one I saw a can of sweet milk sitting there behind them with a spoon in it and I knew that for some dumb reason that's what she was being fed. I asked why she wasn't nursing her and she said she couldn't. She didn't have enough milk. All the excuses you hear so often. And she didn't have money to buy real formula, but this milk is fine. And I was so mad at her for hurting her baby like that.

I went off to teach English and tried to find out if a friend of mine had any formula she could give the baby, cause I was low on money myself.

The hour helping him learn English passed and I went home. Started reading a book about celebrating children and how they have rights and God got me. And so I knew that I did not need to save for tomorrow what was needed today and God would provide for that need some other way on a different day and my Thai baht for getting to the airport in December got turned into a small jar of formula for one sweet baby – and I was humbled by hearing more of their story when I showed up again. Sitting on the steps of her neighbor's house Chandy's mom told me she can't nurse. She has AIDS and she doesn't want to give that to her baby. And she looked at the formula and said, but this is the best. And all I could say was that this is what your baby needs.

And so every week I would go visit this little baby girl and watch her growing so big and strong and healthy. Later one of the other girls on staff was hanging out down there and told me she talked with Chuon and she told her that she doesn't have to think about giving her baby away anymore because she knows she'll always be able to feed her.

Who am I? And why did I fight it? And what right had I to judge her so quickly when I really had no idea? And how will justice ever come if we don't step out and do something? Just something. Because they will always be there asking us for something. The answer is not always yes, but the answer is always Jesus because sometimes an affirmative answer would do more harm than good. What you need to know is where your heart is in all of this. Why is it yes or no? Giving or not giving? Find God's heart. Then, love and serve from there, answer from that place within the heart of God and you'll walk in justice and righteousness.

a Father's kindness

2011-12-13T07:31:00.003-05:00

I met Saleen and her mom about a year and a half ago at the hospital. She was a skinny little baby girl.

They came back to the house with me that day so we could try to figure out a way to help them. Before we even made it here her sweet mom was crying from the hopelessness she felt over not knowing how to help her baby grow stronger and the uncertainty of whether she had passed her disease onto her little girl.

In the first month that we gave Saleen formula she gained 1.5 kilos - that's pretty good.

In all the months since then we have seen her continue to grow. She has also had all of the necessary blood tests say she is completely HIV negative.

Last spring a few of us went out to visit them at their house on the Thai border. Saleen was asleep, but I was able to meet her dad for the first time. He is so kind. That day he thanked us for helping his little baby be able to live.

Today I was able to go visit them again. They recently moved to another house nearby. They wanted a place closer to the ground so Saleen would not get hurt. (Apparently she had fallen out of their old house a couple times. :) ) While we were there today they invited us in. We talked for a while. They shared how they've been since the last time we saw them, they asked about our lives, they gave us some fruit they bought for us to take with us and they fed us lunch before we left for home.

All of our time there was a huge blessing, but what encouraged and blessed me the most was watching Saleen's dad and listening to him interact with Saleen and his wife. I am sad that many of the children I know don't have dads in their lives. But there was one little girl being loved and held and taken care of by her dad today.

Tonight I am thankful we said yes 2 summers ago when we agreed to help them. Thankful Saleen is alive. Thankful she is thriving. Thankful her parents love her. Thankful we get to be a part of their lives. Thankful for the generosity they showed us today. Thankful for my Jesus who lets me see his goodness in this world.

what is best?

2011-12-10T09:13:00.003-05:00

yesterday I had a plan for my day that sounded crazy and busy and chaotic, but then my plans changed and I still haven't figured out how I will get those things accomplished that didn't happen yesterday.

what did happen was this:

I had the privilege of riding halfway across the country (almost literally) to meet a sweet little baby girl in need of some help. My friends had met her earlier in the week and knew she needed more than she was getting at home with her 12 year old aunt as her primary caregiver. We didn't know what exactly the more would look like - taking her home to Battambang with us, finding somewhere else for her to live, helping the Grandmother buy formula for her. Her mom does not want her, but her grandmother and young aunts really do love her.

So what are you to do when you don't understand the situation clearly and cannot really see how bad it is - apparently you go see for yourself how to make a wise decision, or one you hope is wise and best for a little baby - because anything you decide will have lasting implications in her little life.

When I saw her sweet face and skinny little body I wanted to take her, to keep her - simultaneously the easiest and most difficult of solutions to the situation.

I left yesterday morning to try to help one little baby, and if possible help her without bringing her all the way to Battambang, far away from the family we want her to know. (We figured it out, she'll spend a few months a an orphanage near home where Grandmother can visit and she can return home when she's older and stronger.) I'm praying that is best.

I came back last night in love with one more sweet family and more in love with a Jesus who lets me be a part of so many children's lives.

Srey Ruth, her 2 aunts and her grandmother.

Christmas is coming!

2011-12-02T03:09:00.003-05:00

I love Christmas. I think it's one of the best things ever. Slowly over the past several months I have been sneaking Christmas in; watching the movies, listening to the music, thinking and planning different parties or ideas of things we could do this Christmas. And now, it's almost here. It's almost time for the parties to start and there is so much work to do.

We're having Christmas at Jeevit's House on December 18^th. It will be our second Christmas here and I am excited. Last year we introduced most of our village to what Christmas is all about. I remember a few of the girls in our village were asking for a few weeks ahead of time when our next party was. They were excited when they heard that it was going to be Jesus' birthday party. It took a little explaining to help them understand that while he would be there he wouldn't be there and both were real enough. The day of the party came along though and several of the kids came early. They wanted to show me the little boxes they had bought all wrapped in shiny paper with bows on top. They then had to go home to put their presents inside them. They were bringing presents for Jesus.

And so our party started and child after child came and handed me a little box filled with treasure. There were many, many people at the party and I think everything went well.

That night after everything was cleaned up and the house was quiet again I sat down and opened Jesus' birthday presents.

He received:
1 bracelet
1 cookie
3 crackers
9 chips
2 little bowls
2 combs
2 rings
1 pen
6 foam letters
5 jelly candies
5 flowers
2 clay figurines
3 fake flower pots
27 pieces of candy
46 little toy game pieces
7 notes
and some instant noodle crumbs.

And each of those presents is the best. I love the heart of children (and Christmas.)

gifts

2011-11-25T22:02:00.004-05:00

yesterday was one of those days God just gives as a gift. The kind of day which makes me smile at his goodness and remember with joy what an honor it is to be living this adventure he's placed before me because I get to be a part of some amazing people's stories. it started off as a quieter kind of day with more fun things and less real work planned and ended with a Thanksgiving party and painting three fireplaces, but it also involved taking a friend to visit my favorite street with me. i love how the kids shout out our arrival, call my name, cling to my fingers, come running to greet us. they are so precious.

and here I got to hear how one of my friends, who is in 8th grade, just brought a certificate home from school praising her for her hard work and sharing how she is 2nd in her class of 29. her grandmother proudly boasting of her great accomplishment and handling the certificate so delicately saying she must get it laminated. i love how supportive this whole family is of each other. and I couldn't be more proud of my friend. she isn't from the poorest family that I know, but she has faced more than her fair share of adversity in life. she's stuck it out though and in 5 more years when she finishes high school i really do want to see her become the doctor she's dreamed of being for at least the year and a half i've known her. and i am excited to walk beside her over this journey and see how her story continues to unfold.

moving on from there we went to see little Amana. i have been in love with little Amana for the past 2 months i have known her. her story had a tragic beginning when her younger twin died, but i can already see God bringing his redemption because today Amana weighs 9 pounds and she's not so in danger of dying anymore. she's got the right food she needs to keep growing and here is a whole family we get to love. i am so glad i met little Amana and Maya that day in September.

and there are so many other stories i get to be part of. God truly is kind.

a better way

2011-11-19T04:35:00.006-05:00

I am tired of seeing brokenness in the lives of my friends.

-she has 2 kids. they each have different dads and she's had a 3rd husband since her youngest was born, but he's moved on again. now she's sick and in the hospital, but there's not him taking care of her.

-she has 2 husbands and 2 children and one husband is raising a little girl believing she is his. does anyone actually know though?

-her husband abuses her, but she is 9 months pregnant and doesn't want to leave before she has the baby. And she doesn't want to go back to her mom because her mom (raising her other kids already) didn't like the guy in the first place and didn't want her to run off with him.

-she's nervous her second husband and father of her 2 boys may abuse her 13 year old daughter from her first marriage.

-she's raising kids that are hers and one who was his. he decided it was time for something new and left.

and the thing that really gets me is these are all amazing women. some of them I love so much and what I don't understand is why or how they keep ending up in relationships like this and how could it be different. all of these women are poorer than not, but still - I don't think it's all that much different if you have money to spare, just enough to know where your next meal is coming from or nothing at all.

but they're worth so much more than that. I don't know some of the guys at all and I don't know any of the guys all that well, but I know these girls are precious and of value beyond measure - definitely beyond being used and discarded like a throw away coffee cup (condom?) they are not for one time use, but yet I see so many.

And then there are the kids who most often are left with the ones and miss out on the amazing role a dad can play in their lives. so mom is left with an ache in her heart and too many responsibilities for one person to fill not including the fact that she wasn't meant to play half those roles anyway. and the kids are then introduced to the string of husbands and half-siblings that follow.

-he's 9 and has scars on his face from his dad abusing him and his mom when he was a baby.

-he's 8 and had to ask his mom to please watch his little sister and brother every day so he could go study English for an hour.

my prayer is that these women would find their worth and value in Jesus and be secure in his identity for them and that these children would not follow in the footsteps of their parents here, but would become the generation which says we've seen the brokenness and know there must be a better way. This can't be all there is. We will make a better world by living differently.

5

2011-10-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

Five years ago today I ended my journey from the other side of the world to a little town called Battambang in Cambodia. I had never been to this city, I did not know anyone I was going to live or work with and I was not going home for more than a year. I simultaneously wanted to be here and was homesick beyond reason.

Today I smile when I think of the girl I was then, of my ideals of the world and what I wanted my future to hold. I never imagined it would look quite like this, but this is what I asked for. God has been gracious, faithful, kind. I have been so blessed to live the life I’ve lived.

My life has been made so rich by the experiences I’ve been able to have here:

The amazing ones of knowing this little girl is alive because I didn’t give up on her and the horrible ones of waking for a nighttime feeding to find the baby has died.

For all the frustration of injustice rearing its ugly head as one twin is adopted to another country and one stays behind, of one twin making it and one twin being born too small.

To times when the Kingdom of God comes alive on earth and justice is made manifest in a little boy found digging through trash being taken in and given a home, a family, value and love to replace his which was taken from him.

These have been an amazing five years! I am excited for the next five or more because today this little town is home and I cannot even think about leaving this place and these people behind.

Jeevit - 4 years later.

Amana - 3 weeks old (she's reason enough to spend the rest of my life here.)

being 2

2011-10-15T08:57:00.005-04:00

Today is Rain's second birthday. I'm so glad he's been a part of my life for the past year and a half. In so many ways this little buddy daily makes my life richer -

He's so sweet and funny. He's so different now (obviously) from the little baby we brought home from the hospital that Saturday. He really didn't do much of anything then, but he's grown so quickly.

He dances when he hears good music, he loves to play in the water, he could eat continually if we let him, he closes his eyes when he's afraid of something, his favorite part of movies is the THX digital sound intro at the beginning, he'll play with cars forever, he loves to fake laugh and cry, he enjoys wearing helmets and climbing on our motos, and he says, "Mama, ball, amen, 'bat'(yes in Khmer,) Ruen, hallelujah and rubber."

So I'm excited for another year with my little buddy and all I'll get to see him learn this year.

loans

2011-10-07T23:47:00.003-04:00

about nine months ago i lent money to a friend of mine. i lent it to her instead of giving it to her, because sometimes i think that's the better thing to do, the more of a friend kind of thing to do. except with that i know i may never see the money again - and that's okay. i don't let people borrow money if i'm not okay with it potentially being a gift.

after i gave it to her she did not use it for what she said she was going to and only paid part of it back before she went to work in thailand leaving her three little kids with their grandparents for months and months.

a few days ago i heard she'd come back and that while they'd been able to work while they were in thailand, the police on trip back managed to take most of the money they'd earned for different reasons.

i was down her street yesterday and saw her kids, but hadn't seen her. then just as i was leaving she came running up to me. she had a bag of oranges she'd picked from one of her trees for me and she had the rest of the money she owed me. she'd saved it to give back to me. honestly, i'd completely forgotten about the "loan." it hadn't crossed my mind in ages. some time ago i'd decided i was not going to see that money again and wasn't worried about it.

last night, i thought about telling her not to worry about it, to keep the money i know she could use to feed her family right now, but i let her pay me back, because it gave her joy, a sense of finishing what she started, of being faithful - and she can always ask to borrow it again sometime if she needs to.

i am blessed by her sweet meekness and her kind heart.

2011-09-29T07:00:00.002-04:00

I've been reading a verse the last few days that I don't remember having read before and I like it.

Job 5:15b-16

"He saves the needy from the hand of the mighty, so the poor have HOPE and injustice shuts her mouth."

I can worship a God who does that, I can look at a God who fights for the poor, who speaks hope to the broken and silences the hand of the oppressor against them and I can love, because he is love and I can serve, because he's served and I can stand and say that whatever may come against me, I know there is a good God in heaven who fights on behalf of the needy and I want to follow him.

And I don't always get it and I don't always know what to do in the situations I face, but my heart can break for the things that break his heart and my heart can rejoice for the things that make his heart rejoice and I can love this God.

beyond me

2011-09-19T08:31:00.003-04:00

Today and many days lately I am broken by the need around me, broken in good ways and overwhelming ways.

Good because I want my heart to hurt for the hurting around me, for those whose struggles are more real than I will probably ever know.

Overwhelming because it surrounds me. People I love and have known for years who are still struggling to feed their families, new people I keep meeting every time I go visit my friends. And the truth is that while I want to help them all, I can't and I don't like choosing.

A few weeks ago I was taking a young friend of mine to buy rice for her family. Someone I don't know sent money for us to buy food for a family for a year. It's been several months of us helping this one family already now. I was down near her house when her mom told me they were almost out of rice again, so I took her daughter to get more rice. As we were driving I asked her if she was hungry. She was. She said she goes to sleep hungry almost every day. We bought a little bit more than just rice that day, but what about all the tomorrows?

That same afternoon someone else asked me if I could help her niece and niece's baby. The baby's dad is gone and the mom can't nurse. The little boy was only a few weeks old and the sweet milk they could afford is horrible for a baby's development, was making him sick and yet was their only feasible option.

Last week I met twin girls, they're only just a week old now. They don't have a dad. Only one of their older siblings lives with them and their mom, and Aunt and cousins. The other siblings are spread out amongst relatives. The older of the twins is doing alright, but when I saw them today the younger one wasn't doing well. She was in the hospital here last week, but they released her. We're sending her to the children's hospital in a different city tomorrow. I'm praying she makes it until tomorrow.

Today some friends asked me to help buy some food for an old man. He doesn't have anyone to take care of him. His children live with a different organization and they aren't allowed to leave school to come take care of him, so he is by himself and can't go to the hospital for surgery because there is no one to sign a release for it and to take care of him as he recovers.

Many of my friends want to work, but can't find jobs. They could not afford to go to school as children, so now as adults they have limited jobs available to them and are fighting for their own children to be able to go to school so the cycle will end somewhere.

And so how do you choose which baby you give formula to and which baby you say you can't help? And how do you look at an old man dying and a young baby struggling to breathe and help one, but not the other, because somehow we do have to choose even though it's hard. So at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have a God who is big enough for all of these situations and I just want to be found faithful, having done what I've been asked to do and trusting him to take care of all of the things which are beyond me.

kindness

2011-09-16T12:06:00.004-04:00

when i first came to Battambang almost 5 years ago i spent lots of time at a local orphanage. because of some difficult circumstances 2 years ago we have not been able to go in regularly since then.

yesterday was one of the rare opportunities we had to go in and play some games with the kids. it was so amazing.

i was tired. i had a million things on my list to get done and i was feeling overwhelmed by all of it and not looking forward too much to having to go and do this.

then we got there. and i heard all my little friends calling my name and i saw all their faces and how much they've grown since we last spent time together. and i saw how they still remembered all of what we've done with them and how much we loved them and they loved us. and we played games together and sang songs and heard stories and danced and it was so amazing.

one point as we were playing i looked around and saw all of their precious faces and it made my heart happy. God is so kind.

so different

2011-09-03T05:36:00.003-04:00

I was hanging out at one of my friend's houses recently. I was in her neighborhood and it was rainy, so she invited me to come inside for a little while. I sat in the hammock while she was organizing things. She gave me a photo album to look through. It was full of pictures of her over the past 10-15 years. And as I thought about it, thought about her, I realized more how different her life has been from mine.
She's not too much older than I am, but there's enough of an age difference that she lived through some of the darkest times in her countries history.
She's one of the children born during the Khmer Rouge Regime which governed Cambodia from 1975-1979. When the Khmer Rouge came into power they turned the country upside down. The city people were forced to migrate from their homes into the countryside in an attempt to cleanse the nation and create an agrarian society. The Khmer Rouge, however, were anything, but kind in their treatment of the people. The educated were killed. The doctors and medical professionals were killed. People affiliated with the previous government were killed. Anyone who the Khmer Rouge believed to have been contaminated by the seeds of capitalism was viewed as a threat and was there for at risk of being murdered. The masses were forced to harsh labor and mostly horrific working conditions. They worked long hours, but were fed minimal portions. Starvation was very real. Disease stole other lives. The elderly, women and children were particularly vulnerable to sicknesses. Children were forced to be soldiers and indoctrinated with a new political worldview, to spy on their parents, to kill. The result was a genocide of approximately 2 million people.
When the Khmer Rouge fell out of power there began close to two decades of guerrilla warfare. People trying to escape to neighboring Thailand were faced with acres of mine fields. Mines that still come uncovered and blow up today.

And my friend lived through this though I don't know how much she remembers. I'll have to ask her some day. So I looked through her pictures of her as a teenager and as a young mom. She is strong and courageous and I am so glad I know her.

Monsoons

2011-08-19T07:37:00.003-04:00

I wish I had a picture of myself this afternoon because I'm pretty sure I looked ridiculous, but if I had taken said picture I'm also pretty sure it probably would have been the last one my camera ever took.
I've gone to visit families when it was drizzling before or even what you could call raining a little, but today would probably have best been described as a monsoon. I could have waited, they probably all thought that I was going to, but the smiles on their faces when they saw me, the way they laughed as I carried my shoes and my soaking wet self through knee deep water, the way I understand a little more of what their lives are like, the way we all stated the obvious "you're completely drenched," the way my raincoat didn't really keep me dry - all makes me so glad I went. Because I know I can miss it, but there's something about Fridays when five o'clock rolls around that makes me really want to go visit my friends. So today when the rain slowed down around 5:30 I decided to go for it. . . if I had waited five minutes longer I wouldn't have ventured out past the front steps.
And that explains why at 6:30 I'm sitting my pajamas all showered and clean for the night waiting for my instant noodles to be ready and a cup of delightful tea to steep.

Durian Shakes

2011-08-13T05:55:00.001-04:00

Today I ended up with a free afternoon, which doesn't happen all that often and while there are plenty of projects I could work on or paperwork I could have done, I wanted to leave the house. So I did. I was driving down the road not exactly certain which of the opportunities available to me I wanted to take, but I opted for trying to take two of our girls to the dentist for the first time. The dentist office happened to have 2 openings and the girls happened to both be home, so this plan was working out well for me.

The dentists looked at their teeth and told me what they wanted to do for each of the girls. I felt so bad for the one because he pulled two of her teeth out right then and there and filled a few other cavities. She came and sat with me while we waited for the dentist to finish with the other girl. Her mouth was all stuffed with cotton and numb.

When we left I asked the girls if they wanted to go home or go get shakes first. I thought I may have known the answer and I was right. So another first happened in their lives today - they went to a restaurant and looked at a menu and both decided on Durian shakes. Even though they said they knew what a shake was they had never had one like this before and were trying to figure out what exactly it was going to be like. They wanted to know what was in it and what else was in it and what else was in it and it's taking a long time to get here. So we spent our time reading words out of the menu and speculating about new things they were noticing in the restaurant around them.

They were more than satisfied when they saw their drinks arrive and took that first taste.

I know you're not supposed to have favorites, and I don't know that I actually do because I would say that about any of them on different days, BUT these 2 girls are amazing. Nadt is 11 and the youngest of 3. I've known her for years and she has such a sweet and gentle spirit in her. I've known Jam'ran just as long. She's 10 and falls as number 4 out of 5 in her family. She's feisty and lives fully alive. In some ways both of them are so much older than they should be. They help their parents willingly and joyfully in ways that really help to provide. On the other hand though they're still little girls and they love to play and laugh and smile. I'm excited for their futures - and for anyone who gets to be a part of their futures. The world will be a better place because of these two girls living in it; my world's better for having known them.

little reminders

2011-08-13T05:51:00.002-04:00

i've got 2 pictures back to back in my Bible where i read each night. each is a picture of a little girl. i often tell myself this one little girl is how i got here. and this other little girl is why i stayed. it's a kind little reminder sometimes of God's incredible goodness. oh how God speaks dreams to us and is faithful to fulfill his promises even if it takes years to see the reality unfold.

for just one street

2011-08-13T05:36:00.006-04:00

there's a street nearby that i think i love more than any other street i've ever known.

the street itself isn't all that much. it's actually a rather rough street these days. last week when i was there i drove part way down one side to give something to someone and then turned around and went around the block to drive part way down the other side to see someone else - the middle being rather treacherous to drive across without a slip or a slide in the mud of the rainy season this time of year. at other points of the year it could very well be several inches under water for at least a couple of hours after each storm.

the houses come in multiple shapes and sizes and are made from materials of all sorts. bamboo. cardboard. sheet metal. bricks. wood. whiteboards. tarps. some of them have been standing for years and look as if they've got enough of a firm foundation to keep standing a little longer. one of them has already fallen over, but it's yet to be formally replaced. some have electric and televisions. some have batteries. some have candles. some have toilets. some have buckets. some have wells. some have clay pots. a few of them are raised off the ground with a better chance of staying dry inside regardless of the season. some don't have any floors at all.

there's also lots of dogs on this street. i don't have anything against dogs - although they're not my favorite when in cambodia. the thing i find strange about the dogs on this particular street is that they don't like to move. they really will lay there in the middle of the road playing chicken with you, seeing which one of you will be the first to budge. most of the time it's me.

but it's the people that make me love this street. the families that i've come to know over the past five years. the kids i've been able to watch grow up. the people who were once strangers and then became acquaintances and have now become friends. the ones who i look at and say it would be so hard to leave, to ever move away from here because it would mean not seeing you grow up. because it would mean not being able to be a part of your life. because it would mean missing you.

most of the time i go down i have a reason. i have someone to check up on or someone to give something to or i am collecting the kids to come somewhere with me, but sometimes i create a reason to go just because i want to. just because my friends are there. just because i love what happens there. eating rat for the first time. god using us to help moms not give away their babies. a little boy being called "fried beef" by half the neighborhood cause that's how i remembered his name and his mom thought it was funny. eating bananas that made your mouth go numb. little girls praying so earnestly to Jesus. of all of the goodness of god that is evident in their lives. of his kingdom growing in their hearts and in their lives. in our hearts and in our lives.

and i can't exactly describe the way i love this street. the words always seem to fall short of grasping the feeling in my heart when i think about it. and how i know i could spend the rest of my life with the people on this one street loving them and being loved by them and it would be an honor and a privilege.

thinking

2009-05-29T23:14:00.002-04:00

I like the way traveling makes me think, how seeing things new or familiar along the road will make me think of something new or familiar and how God will then shape those ideas into something more concrete even in their fluidity or changing nature. It gets even better if I'm reading good book in the process – not necessarily a story, but something from real life teaching and challenging me to grow bigger or smaller in something.
Lately I've read some really good books, the kind you want to read real fast because you want to eat it all up and equally want to read real slow to savor it and let it all sink in. I'm somewhere in the middle now of settling for reading a second time, not every book, not always, but some.
I've been in a small little fishing village in Thailand for the past week. That's not all that relevant to all of this, but I was there to observe or visit a small orphanage for children with AIDS. In the midst of staying at the girls home there I've been reading a book on racial reconciliation, grace and all that in America not really all that long ago. It's made me think. After growing up in the states the first thing I think of when I hear racism is black and white and all I have heard about slavery, civil rights, segregation and the rest we learn in school during black history month and other classes we take. It's good because it's such a huge part of our history. The book's also a good story.
So the week in Thailand. I was reminded again of how far ahead Thailand is or how far behind Cambodia is – looking at the glass half full or half empty. So one day at this amazing home and being around town thinking how great this place is and how education, medical care, attention to kids, transportation, the roads, the quality of life and the need being so much less in so many visible ways I realized well that's one reason why you wanted to see orphanages outside of Cambodia, to see what it could look like to raise the standard in your own and to learn from them how can it be done differently. So I got to thinking about how much Cambodia could learn from Thailand if they were willing to, how much these countries could help and influence each other in positive ways, how much they could gain if they'd lay aside what maybe is racism whether it's over ancient temple grounds or little comparisons of wide faces and features being less attractive. If we could take pride in our cultures and all they have to offer, but at the same time realize all they have to offer and all we've gained in our own work and development is not merely for ourselves how much greater could life be? Instead of being effectually 20 years behind Thailand could they work together, learn from each other and see that gap diminish faster than projected. And in the process realize how much value and worth are locked up in each other and how great real friendship can be. I don't know.

mustardseeds

2009-02-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about this whole idea of faith like a mustardseed lately. So much of what we need to see God do things is not a huge amount of faith at all. Have you ever seen a mustardseed? They're so tiny. So it's not a huge amount that we need at all, but just a little bit of faith, so is God saying he sees so little faith in us, less than the amount of a mustardseed and telling us to get it together, you don't need much people, or is he saying look, you only need the tiniest little piece of faith and can move mountains, you can throw them into the sea. Nothing can stand in your way. There's so much more inside of you than you're giving yourself credit for. So maybe the deal is where are you sticking your faith? You'll never do it, but if you have in me, in King Jesus, and expect him to move that mountain in your life, then yes, it will be thrown into the sea and you will walk on water or walk across the sea on dry land to see that dream you've always held onto as the impossible accomplished from just a tiny seed. Maybe that's what it's all about, because God, you've certainly called me to do things I am very much unable to do by myself. So please take this weary struggle and may my eyes be fixed on you like and like the Israelites I say, I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on you and like that one dear man who got it, I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.

Jeevit!

2009-01-16T22:43:00.003-05:00

Jeevit is alive and thriving. She's being loved and taken care of. It's pretty great when the director of the orphanage says she's one of his favorites, listening to her laugh and seeing her smile all the time. And about a year ago everyone kept thinking she was going to die. She's been a fighter since the beginning and she's apparently not going to let anything deter her from the life she wants to live.

I'm showing

2008-11-07T22:32:00.002-05:00

I'm showing and I'm afraid I've learned that's not such a pretty thing. Jesus, they can see me and that's not why I'm here. It's not why you sent me here, but what do I do? how can I find more of you? I'm needy.
the kids at the orphanage want to switch back and forth from one game to another and I'm impatient.
another person on the street is calling out "hello, hello" and I am tired of being a foreigner that they want to talk to.
and so what do I do when I know the purpose of my being here is for me to decrease so you can increase. I need your kingdom to increase in my life.
what do I do when I've somehow grown weary in doing good and I'm not feeling so encouraged these days? when what I think you've called me here to do seems so far away and intangible and my days are filled with all sorts of other things, but is that really it?
And Jesus, you came though as a person, a precious little baby who grew into a boy and then learned the skill of a carpenter so that the hands which once formed the world now made tables and chairs. . . you were God from the beginning and you gave it up. Gave it away. You didn't hold onto your equality with God, so we could be restored and made whole when we were the ones who messed up initially. And you became man forever, not just 33 years. For eternity you chose to allow the decision to love us to effect you. You sacrificed yourself for my sin, but you couldn't stay dead because you never sinned. do we realize what it cost you? it's so much more than being on a cross for several hours and dying for a few days. and you knew all along that it would be this way. would I act differently if I realized how much you gave up? would that that I'm hoping in grow if I knew the magnitude of the sacrifice you made? oh how I want to say yes. Revelation please come because I don't even know where to start, except I know I need to cry out to you. when I see injustice repeating itself where do you break the cycle? how do you teach someone something is wrong when it's all that's ever been done to them and so I'm being driven back to the cross and back to my knees because that's what will bring change and I have nowhere else to go. that somehow my life would be so powerful that at the end of it it's not me they even really remember at all, but that they would be standing before others building the kingdom of God across the nations. and even as I come I have nothing to really give, but an emptiness inside because I'm weary and I've run as far as I can go and I'm out of good ideas and my words are few because I don't know how to pray or what you're saying, but I know you're the answer. And so I'm here now because I'm showing and I don't want them to see me. I'm not what it's about.

How can you love?

2008-10-11T01:46:00.007-04:00

Such a combination of emotions today. So much of not knowing what in the world is going on or what I'm supposed to do about it. At the beginning of the week one of the boys from the orphanage was in the referral hospital with a fever, so I went to visit him. While I was there I met another lady with her two little kids. She was supposed to leave the hospital because her baby was healthy already and she can't just keep staying there. I could not take her kids like she asked me to though, so if she could not take care of them she should take them to the orphanage - that's what people do here, so she agrees to go to the government orphanage with me and we meet the director. This mom, who is not all there and who smells too much of alcohol then decides she doesn't really want to give her kids up if she can't stay with them even just one night and she'll go home in the morning, so lots of moms are trying to help her understand and make a decision that's best for her kids - her 14 month old who looks about 4 months and weighs only a few kilos and her 2 or 3 year old, Cloke, who is so precious.
She wants them all to go home. She won't change her mind and maybe it really is best. I don't know.
So Barbara meets me out from with a tuk-tuk. It's already been over an hour since we got to the orphanage and her kids have now at least eaten, but she won't eat.
So we get in the tuk-tuk and go to her village - only she can't really find it and we're driving back and forth near the military hospital asking a few people even - do you know this lady?
Barbara got permission from the military hospital for them to stay the night there and they can go home in the morning. She doesn't like that idea when we get to the hospital though and so we are there and this guy who works there knows the village and the village leader's phone number. Random. So he calls him and tells the driver how to get near there. So this guy comes with us too. And so we go back down the road- farther down this time and the pavement ends. And we turn left down another little mud road. And at the next left the tuk-tuk driver stops. He'll wait for us. And so we walk in the mud flinging it straight up our backs as we try to hold onto our shoes as she leads us down some little roads to her home. And I am carrying this little girl trying not to slip and the only light we have is from the flashlight on my cell phone. So we make it to her home where she doesn't want us to leave, but we must. We'll try to go back sometime. Our new friend helped me make it back through the slipperiest parts by holding my arm up. We get back to the kindest most patient driver ever and drop our new friend off at the hospital again before going home finally. I am covered in mud when I get home and have to clean off at the pump out back before I can even come inside. More than three hours later I get back. My bike is at Pisey's house at the orphanage. I'll have to go get it tomorrow.
And then I don't know. I wanted to cry at the hospital. I wanted to lose it and I knew I was going to for a while as I was going to the orphanage telling this mom she should leave her kids there. And then I started laughing. You just have to laugh or you can't keep going.
But what do you do when a mom can't feed her kids?
How do you teach her?
What do you do when they ask you to take their kids?
What do you do when you see a mom feeding her baby sweet milk because formula is too expensive?
How do you fight to keep families together and intact when the only choice for her if she can't feed them is to give them away?
Is it love to give them up?
Is it love to keep them?
And if she really is getting abused what do you do to help her?
And how do you make a difference when each week or sometimes each day you meet another child and another family and you have to do something to help them, but you don't know what?
What can you do?
How can you help them for more than a day?
How can you love?

2008-10-11T00:56:00.001-04:00

2008-10-10T02:32:00.001-04:00

2008-10-04T00:17:00.000-04:00

I learned how to give birth to a baby this week. It's pretty crazy. Not exactly what I had in mind when I was planning on going to study about mother and baby care for a week, I don't know exactly what I thought it was, but it's so relevant to what I'll be doing, so it's all good.
And now I'm riding on a bus back from the city. There is more I could have done there, but I realized that too late, so it will have to wait now. I'm looking forward to arriving at home, but there's something about traveling that always makes me want to write. It used to drive me crazy because the best stuff I would think of whether I was randomly singing to Jesus or working on the book in my head would happen while I was driving and I would hardly ever remember it when I actually had a chance to write it down. I still have the random piece of paper I wrote the title of our book on when we were getting on 95 in the church van to get kids. . . It was right at the curve at 273 and I just had to write it down. It's along one too.
So I've been learning so much in just being here again. I think we grow in different seasons, but I think the truth of the matter is God wants us to grow so much more than we realize and so much more than we want for ourselves and if we would just realize it we would grow exponentially more than we have ever imagined. There's this great need I'm seeing fora shift in the way I think and the way I respond to situations. Aside from the cliche of everyone saying what would Jesus do? I'm really wondering if I think about how he would act in situations very often. Do I love like he would? like he does? I think far too often I fail to walk in the authority and fullness I have as a daughter of God and that's not cool. It's becoming less okay in my thinking to not walk in all God has for me. I am here for one thing, so I may as well be fully here. I may as well make the most of all that I have the chance to do while I'm here. I don't want to miss out on something. I don't want to live with regrets when the end of the day comes. I don't want to hold onto something I have that could change the way someone else sees the world if it shows them Jesus. I don't want to miss it. I don't want to.
See, I feel like God is teaching me so many different things and I know they're all good. I know they'll all make sense eventually. I know that they will come together at some point, I just don't know what point that will be. I'm looking at things and realizing this call to holiness and this call to servanthood and loving and walking so that God is always worthy and no glory is taken for myself, but is all laid at his feet - that's what should really matter. There's this verse I read the other night about how Jesus won't tell the Pharisee's where the authority he has comes from if they won't answer his question first and I have just been reminded of how much authority we do have to walk in the fullness of the authority that Jesus walked in, so my prayer as I was going to sleep the other night was that we wouldn't miss that one, that we wouldn't forget that as sons and daughters of God we've been given authority to see God's kingdom established on this earth. . . and so these little pieces are somehow coming together in my mind and I'm waiting for the day that it makes sense.

2008-09-06T00:01:00.001-04:00

Back in Battambang

2008-09-05T23:41:00.001-04:00

so I've been back in Battambang for a week now. It's been more strange coming back than I thought it would be. I realized on one of my flights over that my blonde hair and white skin was very definitely part of the minority once more. My world suddenly became bilingual again and I was overwhelmed by needing to speak a language I was having trouble remembering. It took a few days and several trips to the orphanage and several mornings crying wondering what in the world I had gotten myself into, but I guess you could say I'm adjusting. I played Bingo with close to fifty kids yesterday. There are six new babies and a toddler in the baby house right now and I'm falling in love. There's a little girl named Molly who was just dropped off by her mom the other day. She's not very happy right now, and Reaksa has some sort of skin something and a big belly making her unhappy and they each have their own little story and I am loving them and wanting to keep them. Someday. . .

2008-07-08T16:22:00.000-04:00

2007-12-31T00:40:00.000-05:00

I think all of Christmas and what’s been going on here is best described in the pictures, so I’ll post as many as it will let me. It’s been a fun few months. Christmas begins December 1st around here and lasts for as long as there are programs to do or parties to go to. The different churches try to all choose a different day to have Christmas so people from as many of the other churches as possible can go. Christmas officially began for us on December 9th with our party at the government orphanage. We had lots of different relay races and then we watched the Christmas play the kids from the church orphanage did.
The Hospital, Church and Youth Center all had Christmas programs in the next two weeks. My friend Saluot and five of the kids from her house at the orphanage came to church with us for Christmas. We ended the quarter with a staff Christmas party after we cleaned the house. It’s been a nice time to rest since then. Some of my students came over and made Christmas cookies with me one afternoon.
And after a week of not being to the orphanage I went back and was greeted by choruses of children yelling my name. I love those guys. Two of the babies are still really sick though. Please pray for them.

2007-12-31T00:31:00.000-05:00

2007-12-31T00:10:00.000-05:00

2007-12-30T23:43:00.000-05:00

2007-12-30T23:31:00.000-05:00

2007-12-30T23:16:00.000-05:00

2007-12-30T23:04:00.000-05:00

2007-12-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

Christmas!

2007-12-28T23:21:00.000-05:00

I love the orphanage

2007-11-23T23:14:00.000-05:00

Please pray for the orphanage. I love them so much and I want to see the kingdom of God established in that place.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-16T23:26:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for kids.
I am thankful for babies.
I'm thankful for monks in English classes.
I'm thankful for friends to live with, work with, play with and pray with.
I'm thankful for family all over the world.
I'm thankful for sleep.
I'm thankful for forgiveness.
I'm thankful for grace.
I'm thankful for mornings.
I'm thankful for stars.
I'm thankful for English classes and all different languages.
I'm thankful for Khmer teachers who are patient.
I'm thankful for worship music in different languages.
I'm thankful for being a part of God's kingdom advancing in Cambodia.
I'm thankful for salvation.
I'm thankful God loves me.
I'm thankful for adoption.
I'm thankful I was raised to follow God.
I'm thankful I've got friends and family praying for me.
I'm thankful communication is important to God.
I'm thankful for family.
I'm thankful for soccer.
I'm thankful for the orphanage.
I'm thankful God is good.

I won.

2007-11-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

Sambo!

2007-11-09T23:38:00.000-05:00

Sambo finally got adopted last weekend. I'm going to miss him, but I am so excited that he has a family now. He's headed off to Italy where his brother is as well, so hopefully they will run into each other there.

It's been a pretty good year. . .

2007-10-27T01:19:00.000-04:00

2007-10-20T02:07:00.000-04:00

One year! yeah.

Vietnam

2007-10-12T23:57:00.000-04:00

I am amazed at how different Vietnam is from Cambodia and Thailand. They have three very distinct cultures and peoples. Now granted I have only really seen Ho Chi Minh City and that is hardly a fair representation of all of Vietnam just as Phnom Penh is not a picture of what all of Cambodia looks like, but it still displays the beauty of these people. Maybe I’ll have to adopt a kid from here someday too.

We went to the war remembrance museum the other day. Used to call it the museum of Chinese and American war crimes, but changed the name because they were offending so many people. I don’t understand a whole lot about what the Vietnam war was all about, but I know that reading the information there and looking at the pictures was disgusting. They have babies in jars that were stillborn with serious defects as a result of Agent Orange and the other pesticides America sprayed over the countryside as if they were trying to kill off the weeds to ensure a good crop next season- except the target was people. And those babies that have died may be luckier than the generation that has been born with defects. I am appalled at the atrocity of America’s behavior. Why do we think it is our job to be the Savior of the world? Jesus played that role and when he told us to be like him he meant so that others would know him by our love not that we should be saviors. Point the way to the truth. Point the way.

Speaking of Jesus- cause I like to speak of Jesus- we walked up to see the Notre Dame Cathedral. . . There’s a statue of Mary out front. She’s stepping on the serpent’s head- which I thought was pretty sweet. The travel book said there are no stain glass windows in the cathedral because of World War II. They must have replaced some of them because I saw several. I liked the one of Jesus helping the Vietnamese people. Seemed authentic. He’s the God of the Jews and the Gentiles. He’s the Savior of everybody the whole world over. I was trying to figure out how they could get it so close though- Catholics in general- get it so close, but miss it. And does that break God’s heart? That they would make it to knowing that Jesus is the Savior- right, but Mary’s a person, highly blessed among women whom God chose to be the mother of his son. When we came out afterwards one of the most disturbing things I saw was a group of people praying to the statue, some venturing up to touch the base. Some weeping real tears. I don’t know a whole lot about Mary, but I’d say she had some solid character and when she saw her son dying on the cross and telling her this friend and disciple was now going to be her son and take care of her I think it broke her heart. I’d have to say she was proud of her son though- what mother wouldn’t be. And I think she would be weeping now if she knew that people had missed it and were praying to her. So close, but not there.
As I was inside the huge ceilings rose high above me. America is missing something in ancient architectures simply because we haven’t been around that long. You can find God in these massive buildings magnificently designed, but he also dwells inside the heart. . . That’s where he longs to know us. As I looked at the windows and as I imagine all the saints that have gone before I realized I’m part of something much bigger than myself. This thing called Christianity- this belief in the God of the world spans across numerous generations and stretches out across the globe. Jesus is our Savior and because of him we can know God. Pretty cool.

After we saw the cathedral we were strolling around that part of town. We decided to see what was playing at the theatre and turns out two days a month there are performances by the Ho Chi Minh City Ballet, Symphony Orchestra and Opera and that night was one of them. So we donned our best apparel for the evening. Now, I was really excited because it was a two hour performance and I was thinking I was going to get to see some ballet, some orchestra and some opera all of which I like in proportion, but as a two hour performance maybe they can individually be a little much. Turns out it was just the ballet and some contemporary selections which is exactly what I would have chosen if I had to choose. The HCMC Ballet performed some excerpts from a ballet based on a Byron poem. Pretty amazing. In the opening it seemed like they combined ballet with tap somehow and I was ready to watch for hours. As I was watching different dancers leave I was thinking about what their lives might be like. Do they enjoy what they are doing? Is dancing really fun for them? Is it more like the athletes in the Soviet Union? They are talented dancers- so small and muscular sometimes the bones and tendons showing were a little distracting, but not so much. It was a beautiful way to spend a stormy night. The finale had the younger students at whatever academy they’re studying at perform as well. They were cute. The second half was some contemporary stuff. The dancers were talented, but some of it was a little too modern or suggestive for me. I wanted the girl to realize she should just leave the guy, stop going back to him when he’s abusive and know your identity is not based in what that man says about you, but rather in who your creator made you to be. I liked the contemporary soldiers dance most. And when the windows of time started throwing rice across the stage I knew it was the last number of the night.

Today we wanted to go to the waterpark. There are four in or near the city, but we chose the first one listed in the book because it sounded exciting- “chock full” of water rides and slides. We even were still going there after the girl who works at our guest house said it’s the old one and we should go to another newer one that is more fun. But first, this morning while I was praying I felt like God wanted me to spend today with him and I was a little bit definitely not wanting to miss going to the waterpark, so God and I were going to spend the rest of the day together and I won’t join the group for dinner or whatever they do tonight. . . So we’re driving in the taxi watching the meter rise way past the books estimate of a price for getting there. . . Doubles. And so we get to this spot on the side of the Saigon River on the outskirts of town. There’s no waterpark. There’s no remains of a waterpark. There’s some barges moving dirt around and a nice leveled muddy field. I guess Lonely Planet needs to update its Vietnam book again. So we ask the driver who does not speak English to take us to the other park. He knows where it is. It’s on the other side of town completely. We arrive after having been in the car for well over an hour. The guard at the gate tells the driver we can’t go in. He smiles and tells us “No.” We have absolutely no idea why, but as he drives us a few feet so we can read a sign . . . “as of September 12, 2007 the waterpark will pause every Wednesday.” We’re in the city for a week. . . We plan our days out at the beginning and randomly decide Wednesday sounds like a good day to go to the waterpark. I’m thinking, man, God, I should have listened to you. You really know what you’re talking about when you told me to spend today with you. About two hours and twenty dollars later the driver drops us off at a KFC near our guest house and the seven of us just spent the longest most cramped two hours in a sauna that any of us ever want to spend.

In contrary to the disappointing morning which will make a great story as soon as we realize it’s over this afternoon I ventured off for some quiet time by myself and went to the Museum of Fine Arts. I am amazed by the creativity of the Asian people. In Cambodia, Thailand and now in Vietnam I have seen some beautiful, beautiful paintings. I mean they are really remarkable. The building itself is this old building built by the French some time ago. I love it. It would make a fabulous orphanage or school, but serves well as a museum too I guess. There are all these balconies that let you look out over the streets or the courtyard which at one point was used as a tennis court, but now has different statues in it, so playing tennis would probably be a detrimental thing for those works of art.
The first floor was mainly photography. Again- they are a beautiful people. Some of them were paintings that actually looked so close to real-life that they could have been mistaken for photographs, but yeah. I can’t paint like that. There were also some random videos that stood alone or went along with some of the photographs. I don’t understand why there were bigger than life sized pictures of a man standing with clay molded all over his torso and head and then a video of him stepping up to his specially built table and making himself into a statue of a lump of clay. I guess it’s art. Maybe it’s really famous art and I just don’t get it. It reminded me of middle school when a group of students did this special art thing where they shaped their hair into all sorts of strange things with clay.
In the majority of the art from a long time ago and more recently there is a resounding theme of war- of soldiers, killing and death. It makes me want to add the history of Vietnam to the list of things I would like to research and know more about. It makes sense to me to see some of the more recent stuff show off the emotion or the effects of the war, but it seems like Vietnam has always been fighting for freedom from something or someone. The children soldiers and the women soldiers tears me up. There’s something in women that makes them fierce, but I don’t like that they have to fight. And I wish that the children soldiers could somehow have their childhoods restored to them and the images of war engraved in their minds erased.
There was a statue called the “legacy of mother.” It was pretty cool looking- sorry you can’t take pictures. It was made out of wood and had a mother holding three or four different little kids.
There was a darkened room in the end of one hallway with a projector set up on a blank wall of a lady sitting on this white board of some sort floating in the middle of the ocean back and forth for a while and then eventually it would start over. The only noise you could hear was the sound of the projector playing. I took my shoes off and danced with the shadow. Jesus be glorified.
There was ancient pottery and not so ancient pottery. And I looked at these wooden things carved centuries ago and inlaid with pearl. Kind of neat to realize that they have been creating art like this for centuries. There were rock statues too. . . Some of the pottery and rocks had carved turtles. I like turtles. And it seemed like so much of the gods were ancient. I don’t know where this nation stands in religion right now. I know it’s difficult to be Christian, but you can go to church. We drove past a Christian bookstore during our search for the waterpark today. But it doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily a Buddhist nation. There are little altars in the houses, but who knows. One more thing to read about.

Tomorrow we’re going to try to go the waterpark again. I’ve discovered I love this nation, they are a beautiful people, they eat noodles more than rice and it would be a great place to come buy a wedding dress someday.

Flying past

2007-08-24T23:37:00.000-04:00

My mind is always full of noble aspirations of what will be accomplished in a weeks time. Once again I stand at the end of the week and I have done quite a few things, but I have this list that grows more than things get crossed off of it.
The YLT came back for two weeks at the end of July for one last week of lecture, debriefing and graduation. It was exciting to hear what God did through them on outreach and also to see how much they changed over the past six months. I am glad some of them are returning in September for Phase 2 or joining us as staff.
The week after the YLT left we had some staff meetings seeking God for the future of the base here and being challenged about our commitment and what that means for each of us as individuals. At the end of the week we joined the rest of the University of the Nations Cambodia staff in Kompong Som for the annual staff retreat. I thoroughly enjoyed being at the beach for a few days and took every available opportunity to go swimming. Who needs sleep when you’re at the beach. And have you ever been to a beach with cows on it? They were not actually in the water though. It was good to hear about what God is doing in other parts of Cambodia and the different ministries and see how we are a part of something much bigger that God is doing in this nation and we are just one group of Christians here.
Coming back up to Battambang (about a 12 hour bus ride) was a little strange. Some of the staff have left and the family that we have had for the past several months is changing because some of them are going on to staffing in different places and it’s sad that we may not all be together again here. God knows what he’s doing though. . .
And so we keep on going and we keep on seeking God and we are seeing him move.
Maybe 100 kids joined us for watching “Finding Nemo” with the projector at the orphanage. My orphanage English class is obsessed with playing Bingo these days. I’m tired of it, but if they are still entertained by it I’m not going to change it. They really just want the prizes and I am having trouble thinking of another game where they are all actively doing something at the same time.
The babies are amazing. I don’t believe Samnang and Kye have AIDs even if that’s what the test from Phnom Penh said. And I will miss Sambo, but I really want him to have a family and leave the orphanage- and soon. He needs to be somebody’s son, someone who will love him unconditionally and show him what God’s love is like. He’s really funny these days too. And this week a new little guy came. His name is Sokkuuen and right now he cries a lot, but he’s two years old and definitely cute. It’s hard that the mom will not let us hold him because he’s “big already.”

2007-08-24T22:48:00.000-04:00

2007-08-17T23:44:00.000-04:00

Skating

2007-07-28T02:15:00.000-04:00

Last week I got to go skating with some of my friends. I'm not used to being one of the better skaters in the group, but I was teaching some of them how to skate. The rink here is crazy. It's all fenced in like a cage and there's a room with a bin of socks and rows of skates hanging up. My pair had three wheels each and fit almost, but they stayed on my feet and I'm still walking. Once you start skating you can go around the rink if you want to or there's a little loop that goes outside for a minute.If you're one of the pros or one of the daring ones you can skate over two different sets of hills that are almost like jumps. I tried it once, but prefer to stay on the smoother ground- the majority of the rink is half tiled (with some cracked and missing) and half just poured concrete. So you skate and skate and there are poles in the middle for people to hold onto if they need to and yeah. Skating reminds me a bit of driving around here. It's a bit chaotic and you better stay on the top of your game or it's liable to cost you something- or at least send you flying onto the floor possibly across the person you just tripped over because when people fall they don't move. They lie and rest until they are ready to skate again. . . Skating makes me want to play hockey though- wouldn't that be fun?

2007-07-21T01:13:00.000-04:00

I don't know exactly where time is going. I've been here for nine months now and in some ways it seems like much longer than that, but that really is a long time.
I went to the orphanage the other day. One of the mom's told me that all the moms are going to the beach for four days at the beginning of August. The director is going to take care of the kids. I would love to be there then. It just so happens that the day after the moms go to the beach we as a staff are going to our retreat in the same place. I'm excited to maybe see the moms I am friends with at the beach and be able to hang out with them.
Sokgia got adopted. Sambo is still waiting. Samnang and Kye got retested for AIDS in Battambang and the tests both came back negative. If they come back negative in Phnom Penh as well they can get adopted. God's going to give those boys new families too.

Kids

2007-06-02T15:35:00.000-04:00

Kids I love

God is always amazing

2007-06-02T01:56:00.000-04:00

As time goes on I feel more and more at home in the orphanage. I don’t need to be there for just a specific class or purpose. I enjoy immensely just walking around visiting my friends or making new friends. I love talking to the people there. I wish I understood more so I could hear more of their stories. And so on days when I am exhausted, homesick or overwhelmed I have realized I really just want to be at the orphanage. I really just want to be hanging out playing games with my kids and oh what fun kids they are. How precious. How amazing. And God is letting me be part of their lives. Thank you.

This week on Tuesday I came back from visiting some friends for a second before running out to the orphanage. Two of my Bible students were sitting at the table in the yard when I came in. We don’t have Bible on Tuesdays or Thursdays, so they were an hour and a half early for their English class, but they were nearby and did not want to go all the way home. I was excited though because just that morning I had been praying trying to find a time to spend with them outside of class, but I wasn’t sure when. They came to visit the babies with me Tuesday and came back again to go on Thursday with someone else. Most of the people in my class want to go, but I told them they can’t all come at once. I’m loving it though and they’re praying for the moms in the baby room now too. God thank you for being faithful. Thank you for answering prayers.

I have lots of new friends here and

2007-05-26T00:48:00.000-04:00

I love my friends

2007-05-26T00:14:00.001-04:00

all of them

2007-05-25T23:29:00.000-04:00

2007-05-25T23:13:00.000-04:00

It seems that we have entered a season of God answering prayers more quickly. Within days, within hours, within minutes. God is moving all across this nation in very real and amazing ways.
The orphanage English class that used to be mass chaos has somehow calmed down into a place where we're not learning so much English, but we are certainly having a lot of fun and I would say that's more important anyways.
I am loving these kids more than ever.
We also have students showing up at the youth center for classes or parties that haven't been around for ages. It's so amazing.
One of the ylt students went home last weekend to talk to his dad before he was going to become a monk. Monday morning while we were praying for him we got a phone call that he had decided not to become a monk anymore. We were so excited. Last night we heard he's waiting two more weeks and then becoming a monk. The student went home and shared what God has done in his life much to the dislike of his family and neighbors, but he was obedient to what he felt like God was calling him to. Pray with us that God would have his way in this situation and that the entire family would choose Jesus.

I just don't know what's going on. . .

2007-05-18T23:51:00.001-04:00

Well, I can only say that God is rather amazing, pretty much astoundingly amazing all the time. I have this Bible class three days a week that I absolutely love. I had all this about prayer ready to teach them and it was great because it just so happened that one of them asked a question about prayer a little while ago that I wanted to answer. Then yesterday God would change what I should teach them a few hours before class. Okay. I am glad that I decide most of the time it’s always better to just do what he’s saying. He sees a bigger picture and he has my best at mind really and truly. Now, I know it’s not always the case, but it seems like very often God has me teach things that I know about or I am experiencing. So last week I just discovered another little problem in my life, but no worries this one has promises attached, right. He changed my teaching to going through the whole book of James with this Bible study book we’ve got. It would so happen that chapter one verse two says to consider all suffering a joy because of what it produces, because it glorifies God in an even bigger way, simply because he is God and we are not and that’s all we need to know. The world would be such an easier place if we walked around believing he was God, we are not, but that he has our best at mind always. What a difference that would make, but we are stubborn people. And so my class talked about perseverance through suffering and I learned some stuff that is almost fitting to apply. . . The only thing I’m stuck on is after I go through the book of James and we talk about prayer one of the other questions was “why did God make the sky?” I have no idea. He wanted to. He thought it looked cool. He knew people would always be amazed at his sunsets and clouds and turn their hearts back to him remembering his faithfulness? That one has me beat.

God is amazing.

2007-05-18T23:07:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Kids!

2007-05-07T01:50:00.000-04:00

Okay,
On Friday we could not have English class at the orphanage because the kids were all cleaning up for a big party on Saturday night for their birthdays. I decided that was okay and started talking to some different people. I spent a decent amount of time talking to one of the house moms and this guy that was there. They invited me to come on Saturday night. The director of the orphanage also invited me to come and help light candles for all of the kids. I said I would see what I could do.
Saturday evening I stopped by for just a few minutes because it was getting dark and I was by myself. The same house I had been at the day before invited me to come and eat dinner with them and how could I refuse Rek'smey's smiling face. So I am sitting in there little house eating dinner with all of them and one of my youth center students from last quarter shows up with someone else and sits down to eat with us as well. I don't exactly understand the who or the why, but it was good to see her again. I had to leave shortly after we ate because it was dark. Some of the older boys that live their still volunteered to walk home with me because I was by myself.
I would have loved to stay for the dancing and lighting the candles, but that's okay. God is moving in their lives. One by one the orphanage is being changed.

2007-04-28T00:14:00.000-04:00

The youth center quarter started again.
Do you know there are hundreds of students coming every day to learn English or study the Bible. It's exciting to be a part of what God is doing here.
I have these groups of students that I love like crazy and they come and they study with me every day and I really want to be their friends. . . I can't wait until this generation gets set on fire. They're going to be unstoppable.
Teaching at the orphanage is a little more challenging. They are insane some days. They don't know where the boundaries lie in their lives and so they press them to the extreme. Every day I am watching them abuse each other and yet it remains unchecked and unstopped by the teachers. I don't want to grow calloused, but they don't respond so much when I ask them to stop.
And I see my precious babies in their house and I desperately don't want them to grow up and get moved into another house so all they witness in their lives is the continued violence. . . But they say some of them are sick and that means they won't be adopted. I'd take every one of them home with me if I could. For real. I've always wanted a big family. . .
But God is bigger than all of it. His plan for all of the students and all of the children is amazing and it will be accomplished.
God have your way here in this nation please.

2007-04-27T23:57:00.000-04:00

Sambo is still here and learning how to walk. It's kind of funny to watch him try, but he thinks it's funny too, so it's all good.

Hospital Pictures. . .

2007-04-12T01:50:00.000-04:00

Orphanage Pictures. . .

2007-04-12T01:43:00.000-04:00

End of the Quarter. . .

2007-04-12T01:15:00.000-04:00

Now, it's interesting here because even in the churches they did not really mention Easter, but it did come here.
We had our end of the quarter for the youth center on Good Friday. Sunday was a big party. There were almost one hundred students who came.
I got to share with them why we celebrate Easter, the reason we have hope as Christians. It was pretty exciting. I've never had to teach myself on Easter before.
The Youth Center is closed for two weeks because it's the Khmer New Year. It's one of the biggest holidays here and apparently they throw water on you whenever you go places for a few weeks. . . I don't know what I think of that.

(sharing)

(my English class the last day.)

(Soksan- one of my English students.)

2007-03-31T00:31:00.000-04:00

Someone stole my shoes recently. I hope they last a very long time for whoever has them because they're great shoes.
I ate dog. It doesn't taste very good and I don't know if I like that I ate it or not. Someone asked if I felt like I betrayed man's best friend. . . kind of. Although, I think my dog would have tasted better.
And I'm learning how to read and write in Khmer. . . It's tricky, but I like it.

When it rains it really rains and when God speaks he really speaks. . .

2007-03-24T01:37:00.001-04:00

yway.

Last week as we were preparing for the Sunday party there was a storm rolling in and we knew there might not be that many people there, but it wasn't keeping the children from coming. Every week they are showing up earlier and earlier and there's more and more of them. I love it.
We had about fifty children and ten youth at our youth party, but we decided to start anyawy.
We sang songs and told the story of Samuel hearing God's voice as it started raining. The best that I can remember it as soon as we asked them if they wanted to hear God's voice and they all said they wanted him to speak to them it started raining harder. By the time we all prayed and asked for God to speak it was raining so hard we were screaming to be heard above it and everyone had to stand up because the rain was flooding in and soaking the mats. And it just kept raining as we stood there. There was no denying God's voice. When we finished we got to play in the rain. . .

God's healing people!

2007-03-17T01:16:00.000-04:00

God’s healing people!

One of the YLT students was apparently sick and then was healed after they prayed for him, but I missed that one. The one I did hear about was one of the mom’s from the government orphanage. When some of the YLT students and staff went to the orphanage last week one of the mom’s told them she was really sick with a high fever during the Khmer Rouge Regime, but she had been forced to work anyways. Ever since then she had had trouble with her ear or ears, I don‘t remember if it was one or both. They prayed for her. She was excited to see them when they came back this week and told them that ever since they prayed for her she had had no trouble with her ears. God, thank you for moving in this place. Please continue to bring change to this nation. . .

Also, I do not know exactly what is going on because when I went back to the orphanage on Monday Sambot was back and he was still there today when I saw him. The moms in the baby room haven’t really said much this week though except that they are always busy, so I do not know what is going on. My heart breaks that they live in there though and the moms are trying, but all those little guys just need families to love them. They should not be raised in the orphanage. . . Jesus, come on.

God's heart. . .

2007-03-10T01:41:00.000-05:00

The YLT students learned about spiritual warfare this week. It’s been fun being here and being a part of what is going on. They pray with passion when they pray for this nation. They want to see it change and I believe there is faith rising in their hearts that it really will change. There really will be transformation in this generation and it’s going to happen soon.
God multiplied flowers at the hospital this week. We bought them to give out for women’s rights day and at one point we had eleven left, but then we found more women and we handed out sixteen or seventeen more. It’s amazing to see God move in power and maybe he did it more for us than for the women at the hospital who don’t know, but he was definitely there with us that day and I know there were people healed and people who experienced more of him as well. When we go we have to remember we are breathing life and speaking truth and it will effect the darkness.

Sambot went to Phnom Penh with one of the moms from the orphanage this week. The day before they were not sure when the adoptive family was going to come for him, but they had Sambo in a different house. The mom said she was only doing what she had been told and something about how you can only adopt one child at a time. I don’t know if that is a government policy or an orphanage policy. I do not understand it though and I do not like it. I never thought I would know twins who were separated when they were little and grew up not knowing that they had a brother.
God please be sovereign in this situation and work this for your good. These little guys have known too much pain and separation already and they are barely more than a year old. Please have your way God. I want to see you move and do something amazing. Please change whatever needs to be changed in this society that places such little value on family and children that would allow this to happen. And be with those boys. . . You just can’t do that to kids. God I want to see justice all over this world. . .
Does anyone want to adopt Sambo? I wish I could take him home with me forever. And then go find his brother.

Road construction and rain

2007-03-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

It rained this week and they started fixing one of the other roads in town. They have an interesting process of fixing roads here. They make the entire thing nearly impossible to drive on by tearing the whole thing up and then they move stuff around and add dirt and concrete and then put something else down and seal it all and chip it. . . It takes a while though. . . Meanwhile with the added rain it felt like we were in a disaster zone when we were going to the orphanage and I need to wash my bike. . . .

Life. . .

2007-02-24T01:23:00.000-05:00

I love my classes. Teaching English at the orphanage is probably one of the most difficult things I have to do, but I love it. There are times that I feel like giving up or calling it quits- telling them they have to figure something else out because it doesn’t work to teach that many kids of that many ages all at the same time with no translator when they don’t know any English. Then I realize that I have the opportunity to see God move in his amazing faithfulness here and I know I won’t quit. I cannot expect to teach this class out of my own wisdom though- it doesn’t work. I’ve tried. I cannot expect to come up with ideas that will keep them focused and learning for almost an hour, but also allow them to have fun without losing control. And their teachers sit there watching and I don’t know what they think of me or my teaching methods, but my teaching cannot be done in an attempt to gain approval from them as much as I would like for them to love me and want to be my friend. And so I cry out desperately for God to speak and tell me something to do, something to help these precious kids English. . . And to show them how desperately God loves them and wants to know them.
And today Borei counted almost to twenty in Khmer and it’s okay if he has no concept of counting in English. He knows he is loved.
Teaching Bible is crazy amazing. God has given me a group of students that fluctuates a bit, but the core group is rather consistent and they are hungry for God. They know him, they understand so much, but they want more and I don’t know why I’m teaching some days, but God has told me to and God is teaching through me. And this week he taught through me in Khmer.
Teaching English at the Youth Center could be one of the easiest things in the world, but the days that I try to do it myself out of what I know or what I think would be fun end up being frustrating or completely messed up. I need God to direct each of these steps that I’m taking. . . Each new word they are learning I want to have come from him, each game, each idea. . . He’s the master teacher and I am definitely still learning. . .
I want my students to know how much I love them. They are amazing and I can only wonder if I love my students so much and I am but me, how much more does God love them. They have such precious smiles and I love them. . .

And there are always babies. . . Babies that need baths, babies that need changing, babies that need feeding and most of all always babies that need loving. . . Sambo and Sambat are playing with each other now and kissing each other and eating each other essentially. And they’re ticklish, very, very. It breaks me to think they may be being sent to different homes and grow up never knowing they have a brother. God please be in control. . .

Someone at the hospital came up to me and Srey Neit this week and said “you love kids, don’t you?” I told him “I do. I want to have an orphanage some day.” It’s funny or completely freaky that having that orphanage I’ve been talking about for years may not be that far away. When do we grow up and suddenly have the chance to make our childhood dreams realities? I don’t remember exactly how I came to be in this place all of the sudden where I’m almost old. When I go home next year I will be almost halfway to fifty. . . That’s ridiculous.

Babies!!

2007-02-16T23:32:00.000-05:00

Grace

Sambo and Sambat

Joel

Jake

Life at the orphanage is always changing. Last Saturday some of the staff went out to dinner. Again, I decided I did not want to go with them. When they got there they saw Jake from the orphanage with his new family. He’s off to Italy now and doesn’t have to live at the orphanage anymore.
Today we found out that the little guy, Joel, died last week. He sick for as long as he was there. They took him to the hospital and he died shortly after they came back. One of the girls from the team that just left completely fell in love with him and spent a few hours several mornings a week holding him and singing or praying. I’m glad he knew he was loved.
One of the mothers also told us that Sambo and Sambat are going to be adopted by a Khmer family living in Italy. I am so excited that they are going to have a family soon.
There is a new girl there too. Molly named her Grace because they don’t know what her name is. She’s somewhere over one, but we don’t know what is wrong with her. She cannot hold her head up very well and she definitely can’t sit or move right. She may be deaf too. She spends most of the time moaning.
Pray for us and pray for the mothers at the orphanage. Pray that we would be able to keep loving the kids like they’re our own and then being able to see them leave and love the new kids that come. . .

2007-02-16T22:56:00.000-05:00

Okay. God knows what he’s doing and we really should listen when we hear him speak. We have been teaching about the Holy Spirit in Bible class because they don’t understand and last week when I was telling them about how important it is to listen when he tells us to do something I knew that I was going to be required to step it up a level in my listening. . . Do first, then teach.
Sunday morning on my way home from my first Khmer engagement party I was riding my bike down this one little dirt road that I ride on every day past all the little houses where the families from the handicap/rehabilitation center live. I saw one guy down a smaller side street look up and smile when I went past and kind of thought maybe I should pray for him, but I kept on riding saying hello to the people and heading back to my house. I tried to be logical saying we’re not supposed to stop by ourselves or anything like that, I don’t speak enough Khmer yet. . . And then I told myself I would go back after I changed. I couldn’t kick it though and I was reminded of all the stories I’ve read about how God has asked people to do crazy things in the past and God doesn’t care if it is comfortable or not.
So I went back. There are tons of people there always and some of them nearer the edge of the road are not the nicest people to us all the time, but I saw the guy I had seen a few minutes before and went over to talk to him. I knew enough Khmer to say everything that I wanted to say. As soon as I started talking to him I felt kind of stupid and kind of foolish for not listening to God in the first place and stopping to talk to him. He knows what he’s doing- he always does and he has our best in mind, so listening to him is only ever for our own good.
It was my friend Sea Nod, but he was not in his wheelchair, he was laying down on a bed. He was the first person I had prayed for in October across the street from our house. I had wanted to see him again and had thought about him, wondering where he was, but I’d never knew where he lived. God’s amazing.

2007-02-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

2007-02-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday I got to eat lunch at my friend Meiling's house. Her mom
has informed me that I am now one of her five daughters and I am
welcome to live with them if I want to. I love her like crazy. After
lunch I spoke at the hospital church. I love going to visit the
patients there. They are really patient in waiting for me to figure
out my sentences when I do not have a translator and I always manage
to make them laugh. They are very joyful people. I met a sweet mom
there with one of her daughters who had just had surgery. She became a
Christian several years before. When she was in her twenties one of
her legs got blown off by a landmine in a field. She had a one year
old daughter and her husband left her and married someone else. She
met Jesus and she is so precious. Their house is far away from the
hospital and they are only staying for her daughter to recover and
then they will go home, so I don't know if I will get to see them
again, but she has a church at home.
Sharing with the people was exciting because God gave me something to
encourage them with. There was a sweetness of his spirit there though
and afterwards we were able to pray for most of the people there. We
pray for their physical healings, but also that God would invade all
of their lives and that they would be transformed by the Holy Spirit
dwelling in them.

The first international dts in Cambodia started last weekend. . .
There are students from five different continents here and they are
hungry for the things of God. It is exciting to see what God is doing
through them already and I can only imagine what he is going to do
through them over the next six months.

We had our first community gathering Wednesday night. About 170 people
came. There were several dts teams here from different countries as
well as people from the community and area churches. I am starting to
love worship in two languages. It gets much more exciting when you
learn the songs in the other language.

Rachana got adopted by an Italian family. As much as I miss her and
wanted to take her home with me, I know that it is so good that she
has a mom, a dad and an older brother to love her. She will never have
to grow up in that orphanage. . . If only the rest of the kids could
be adopted. I hear Jake may be soon. . . It's funny because I want
them to have families. I want them to be loved and to not grow up
where there is so much abuse and yet it almost makes you cry when you
hear she's gone. You love them and then one day she just is not there
and you do not get to see her again. . . God's got her though and she
is precious and stinking cute.

Do you think God can be your friend? Why or why not?

2007-01-26T23:39:00.000-05:00

Since I’ve started to learn English here, I start to believe that he can be one of my best friends. I think God can be my friend, because I feel that he always stays with me to help me learn English. He always helps me to solve problems. He helps me to make a lot of more friends. Before, I didn’t believe that God can be my friend, but two of my friends told me that he will help to solve all my problems that I can’t solve. Then, it’s really true. He the one friend that can make me feel happy. Also, he’ve never let me down, even I’m just a little girl. I’m still a important friend for him.

Hout Siek Huoy.

English Class

2007-01-26T23:29:00.000-05:00

God is moving in Battambang . . .

2007-01-20T00:21:00.000-05:00

I am teaching English at the orphanage- actually having a class of eager little students learning English at the orphanage. The first day was rough. I did not really have any idea what it was going to be like, but I love it. There are thirty beautiful little kids staring at you, repeating everything you say with loudness and enthusiasm. It’s great. I did not know if we would get much past them screaming “I like to eat banana!!” but we have already. They are so smart and so excited. We’re covering all sorts of topics these days and I haven’t sung this much “head and shoulders knees and toes in a long time.”

The youth center has also started up again and is so amazing. I am loving all of my students so much. The enrollment is so huge. I don’t exactly know how that’s working out. There are over 550 students registered right now. We had to move parking outside because it wasn’t possible to really put that many bikes and motos inside the fence. We have had to go out and buy more chairs several times. It’s great. My Bible class is growing. One day someone was coming to get a chair for his English class. He saw us on our mat in the garage and he went to tell his teacher he wanted to study the Bible instead. We have been talking about the story of God and God’s character. We’re stuck on Moses right now and I love it. My English class has about sixty students in it. We’re exploring questions in our writing like “Can God be your friend?” I love how hungry the students are for the truth and how many of them I feel like I want to pour more into.

The first international DTS in Cambodia is starting here very soon. The international students start arriving this weekend, the Khmer students come next week. There are about 30 of them coming and I am so excited to see God change their lives and this nation through them. We’ll see what happens.

It’s just all good these days. I want this nation for my inheritance. I want my kids at the orphanage- and they’re all my kids- to find God and run after him.

Christmas at the Hospital

2006-12-23T00:07:00.000-05:00

Christmas at the hospital was an amazing success because God did what he wanted. There were so many people there when we first came out and they were ready. Even my really sick buddy came out and waited for a while. The problem was the electricity was not turned on in the pavilion and our whole program mostly revolved around using the sound system so the different groups could dance. . . We talked to the patients and we lost some who wanted to get their lunches, but eventually we started without electricity. We learned to sing O Come All Ye Faithful and we played Down by the Banks (one of their favorite games for some reason.) And Umong shared something about Christmas. The men working on the electricity got everything fixed and back together and we had our music at the end though- so they performed their beautiful dances and we passed out presents. . .
It did not look like we originally imagined it would, but there was something sweet about the conversations we were able to have with the patients and the people there that would have been missed if we had come in with our program, done it and then left. And at the end one person chose to follow Jesus, so that is always good. . .

Christmas at the Orphanage

2006-12-21T00:16:00.000-05:00

Christmas at the government orphanage was beautiful. We were blessed to have the children from Fouraquare Church join us and perform several dances and a skit. There was also an amazing dts outreach team here from Taiwan who had some dances to share. One of the girls small groups performed a Khmer worship song they learned. Our Khmer staff danced to "Shackles"- Mary, Mary's quite popular here these days and then Sopheak spoke. Handing out gift bags afterwards was insanely chaotic, but Jesus was shared and the kids were loved and one day all these kids are going to know Jesus and follow him completely. Since that day a few have already decided they want to. These kids are so beautiful. . .

Christmas at the Orphanage

2006-12-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

Christmas at the orphanage

2006-12-20T23:39:00.000-05:00

Christmas Carols in Khmer

2006-12-20T22:42:00.000-05:00

Saturday afternoon last week I paid a visit to the orphanage and talked to two of the girls who had prayed to accept Jesus the day before. I asked them if they wanted to come to church with me on Sunday. Ganja said yes. Rek’smey said yes, if Ganja goes.
Sunday morning I returned to see what their house mom said about it. She said it was fine and a third little girl from the house decided to join us as well. I was laughing so hard at how much it felt like every Sunday morning in America because they were not ready when we got there even though the girls knew the day before when we were coming. They were not sleeping like they are in Wilmington though, they were washing their clothes and cleaning the outside of the shutters to their house. They got dressed and then changed when the house mom did not like their first outfits and their hair was done.
As we walked out the door telling her we should be back around one I had to smile. I was completely excited that these girls were coming to church with us, but I also laugh at what I see as God’s sense of humor. I love taking kids to church with me and I guess it doesn’t matter where I am living. . .

Salvation is here. . .

2006-12-16T01:42:00.000-05:00

Now, first things first before I burst- four of the girls in my small group at the orphanage decided to follow Jesus today. I know one of them was definitely serious about it too because she said she wanted to, listened to what it meant and then said she wanted to pray right then. She began repeating what was said and three of the other girls joined in. I am so excited that God is moving in so many ways. This afternoon at the youth center two students decided to follow Jesus. And this morning at our Christmas program at the hospital one of the patients also decided to follow Jesus.
A month or so ago when we were praying we really felt like God was saying he was going to do huge things over this last month of the quarter. We are down to having just a few days left and God is showing up in amazing ways. God is so good.
One of Bee’s resolutions for next year is to tell more people about the good teachings of Jesus. He is not a Christian yet, but when I talked to him about it he’s not so sure he wants to be a Buddhist any longer. His family is Buddhist, but he doesn’t know if he likes it. I look at him and realize he doesn’t stand a chance because God’s already captured him.
One of my monk students said he’ll be a monk for maybe one year more. Then he is planning on becoming a laymen (a follower of Buddha without wearing the robes or living at the pagoda.) He was open to the possibility of becoming a Christian. He just doesn’t know. He thinks Buddha was a wise man who taught a way for him to live his life that is good. Oh for the day that he will see all the good ideas Buddha taught really originated with God.
I think sometimes I forget their decision to become a Christian means changing almost everything they have believed before and very much so goes against their families and their society. But Jesus really is the truth and we cannot forget that God is also so much bigger. . .

Christmas is getting closer. . .

2006-12-08T23:26:00.000-05:00

There’s only one more week left before our quarter ends. It really seems like we just finished celebrating Thanksgiving, but we’re already starting our Christmas programs. I am so excited because I love Christmas and we get to have Christmas everywhere here. Sunday is the Christmas at the government orphanage. The kids from the church orphanage are coming to and we are sharing the story of Jesus being born and special songs and dances that different people have prepared. This is our last week of classes at the youth center for the quarter. I am loving teaching Stuart’s advanced class for him while he is back in Australia with his family. The students are so much fun and I try to bring God into it as much as possible. After classes the group of students staying and asking questions about God and the Bible is increasing and they are staying longer than they have been. We have a DTS team from Taiwan here for a short time on their outreach and they have been such a blessing. They are excited to share about God and they are so kind and compassionate. On the fifteenth we will celebrate Christmas at the military hospital. The hospital is such a beautiful place. Today Sambot and Jchen’s mom cut the last of their necklaces and bracelets off and threw them away. God has caught her and I am excited to see the life that will come in their family. On the seventeenth is Christmas at the church. The Khmer staff and some of the children are dancing to “Shackles” by Mary Mary. We are performing a modern improv adaptation of what would have happened if Jesus had been born in Battambang today. (I’ll let you know how that actually goes.) and we are singing “O Come All Ye Faithful” in English and Khmer. Later on the seventeenth is the youth center graduation and Christmas party which also includes the Christmas play and several other things, hopefully including performances by several of the different classes and some testimonies of God’s salvation. It’s so amazing that we get to have so many different Christmas celebrations, but they are all focused on why we really celebrate Christmas. And we have a Christmas tree here with bright blinking lights and I love it.
For a little while God has been talking to me about my need to grow up in my faith and tonight he brought it up with all of us. I am being called to leave behind me the childish ways and to go deeper into what he’s calling me to. I cannot go backwards or forget what he has told me, but I must keep walking forward and be obedient, responsible and faithful if I want him to continue to use me. It’s so exciting to hear though because I want to see this nation changed and I know God does too, but it’s going to require us running hard after him and being willing to be stretched and used in ways that don’t always feel comfortable and aren’t always what we want to do. There is no room for selfishness, but it’s a good thing. The difference between the mature and the childish is that they see this- they can see with a perspective outside of their own because they listen and look for it and they realize the difference between good and evil and choose what is right. God can do the impossible and is already. God can heal. God can transform lives. God can and he wants to and he’s allowing me to be a part of it here. I am so thankful for that.

2006-11-25T08:29:00.000-05:00

Here is a video of the girls learning a dance.

Thanksgiving Week

2006-11-25T01:17:00.001-05:00

I don’t know why I was ever thinking I had too much free time here because it’s all disappeared now. I am into language study these days. It’s amazing the number of words I’ve learned this week. The sounds of the language and pronunciation is a bit tricky and extremely frustrating at times because those sounds just don’t naturally come out of my mouth, but grammatically everything makes so much sense- and they don’t conjugate their verbs or change their tense ever, so it’s so much easier to remember than English.
This week I also started teaching an advanced English class for Stuart who had to return to Australia for two weeks. It’s fun and I am excited about being able to share with these students, but it also makes me busier yet. The students that I have been talking to for the past month from 5-6 though are some of the same students that I am now teaching from 4-5, so I can build even more relationship with them. I also love teaching. It’s a sweet deal.
We are getting ready for our Christmas programs at the hospital and the orphanage and graduation for the youth center which is kind of another Christmas party here. They should be good. God is giving the people planning some great direction.
We also managed to have our own little Thanksgiving here this week. We had a regular schedule all day, but we had a special dinner complete with apple pies and ice cream- and chicken instead of turkey which I prefer any day. We wore crazy hats, walked around the house wearing them, played games, watched a movie and went to sleep way too late. It was a good day.
We spent a few hours in worship and prayer tonight. The presence of God was so rich. I am being challenged to run hard for these next few weeks. There is so much that God is doing in this nation and he is allowing us to all be a part of it. That is such a profound thought or idea and it blows me away, but it seems to be true, so I am trying hard to follow his voice and walk in complete obedience to what he is asking of me. . .

So much life . . .

2006-11-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

Sokta

My new friend

Sambo and Sambat
Rek S'mey

Today, Friday, was an exciting day. This morning at the hospital children’s program several random children stopped on their way home from school to listen to the story and color pictures with us. It is priceless to see the joy even the adults have in joining us for the children’s day. They all color and dance just as much or more than the children do. And laughter always fills the air.
When we got back from the hospital there was a snake getting way too close to going into the house for any of our liking. Three of the boys killed it and apparently someone’s going to cook it sometime soon. It was four feet or so long, thick, fat and not something I appreciated learning live in the pond next to our house. I’m hoping we won’t see any more snakes that size and I‘m not planning on joining whoever eats it.
This afternoon I met with my small group at the orphanage again. There were seventeen girls there today and they got to hear about God creating the world and how people messed it all up, but he sent Jesus to redeem us. This is good stuff. These girls are all going to get saved, learn how to pray and hear God speak. Then they’re going to change the world.
I asked one of my friends during the youth center today if he was a Christian. He said, “No, but I’m close.” so all of you can join me in praying for him- his name is Bee. God has big plans for his life.
And to think all of that happened just today. . .
There are babies being born and people dying at the hospital which brings joy and frustration at the same time because the baby‘s parents recently became Christians and the man who died was at the hospital for almost a week and yet we only prayed for him once and he is gone now. What are we doing if we miss those opportunities? There are new twins in the baby room at the orphanage needing love and there are little girls filling the room with laughter and priceless smiles. There are children hearing about God for the first time listening with a faith children possess so easily. There are students being taught English at the youth center using Bible stories as their text and there are monks coming to Bible studies. The Bible class grew so large they had to move the class outside and meet on a mat on the ground which somehow only served to increase the size of the class even more. This quarter has about a month left in it before the break and the presence and power of God is moving in greater and greater ways. This will be a month of breakthrough in the lives of these students as the walls they have built up are falling down and they are seeing truth.
I am amazed that it’s been a month since I’ve gotten here, but it has been already. God is faithful and true and I love that he is angered by the injustice that I see and I am beginning to see that his great wrath adds so much dimension to his great love. God is just because he is good.
I discovered the stars in Battambang this week. I think this may be one of the only places that rivals Landenberg’s stars that I’ve seen so far. They are countless and bright lighting up the sky and making me think of home. Knowing the same God made this whole big world and is holding it in his hands makes me thankful for life and for love and for hope.
I am thankful for babies and chocolate soy milk and butterflies and music and laughter. I am so thankful for laughter.

More Small Group... Apparently I have the biggest small group ever.

2006-11-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

More Girls From my small group

2006-11-11T11:10:00.000-05:00

more girls from my small group

2006-11-11T01:16:00.000-05:00

here are more of the girls in my small group. . .

my week

2006-11-11T01:10:00.000-05:00

The week . . .
I love Battambang and Cambodia really. It’s so amazing living here. I don’t quite understand why I was chosen to come here and I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, but it’s good.
There’s always something interesting going on and something I don’t quite understand like why the entire bush was covered with dusty red dirt, but the flowers were still pure white- for real. God is amazing. And he is opening my eyes to see so much of who he is here. He is love and he is just. He is truth and he is holy. He is Savior and he is King and God is moving in Battambang.
When I first came it seemed like I had too much free time on my hands, but that has all disappeared these days. I find myself busy the majority of the time and ready to crash soon after dinner to be prepared for the next day. It is a good life though. Even the busyness is not really too much. I’m trying to live in view of eternity and to realize that this life is not supposed to be about me, but it’s been so much fun. I got peed on at the orphanage for the first time, but at least now it’s happened and that’s over with. Jake is still a precious baby. There’s a new little guy there named Samnang. He’s a pretty cool kid about five months old.
The Bible study and church at the hospital is growing. People are getting saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. They are reading the Bible to each other and praying for the sick. The youth from the church are translating for us in different classes and joining us as we go to the hospital and the orphanage. There is so much to learn from all of them. And when I come home at night I am surrounded by a group of people who are learning to live in community and are all seeking God’s heart.

My Small Group

2006-11-10T23:17:00.000-05:00

My small group. . .
These are the girls from my small group. We had our first real time together today and I was able to share with them how God made us from dirt and breathed life into us. It’s kind of cool sharing with them because they don’t really know anything. We’re starting at the very beginning. They did not know what heaven was, so we got to talk about that and then how God created the world.

My Bicycle. . .

2006-11-10T23:12:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday I bought my very own bicycle. It’s nice to not be dependent upon other people for rides to places any longer and it’s fun to ride. Buying things here is so interesting as well. Seang and I found the bike we wanted to get, but the seat was rusty and one of the spokes on the front wheel was broken, so they just switched them for us with parts from two of the bicycles next to it. The shop owner helped us get it onto the moto and we drove home. The basket on the front might just be my favorite part.

Battambang. . .

2006-11-04T01:05:00.000-05:00

Winter is coming to Battambang as I am growing accustomed to being here. I am loving this city so much and the people here. They are precious. There are so many contrasts here between the ancient and the modern worlds. Driving to the hospital today I really did see a mule drawn cart traveling down the same busy road as the dozens of motos like I was riding and the new toyotas or forerunners. I am almost disappointed to see some of the modern world creeping in. There is so much culture in the quaintness of Cambodian life. They don't need to become all-American. We are not the answer to their problems.

Sunday evening after we returned from Phnom Penh we had a party at our house for Makara and Sam's wedding. They wanted to give the church orphanage and several of their friends that could not afford to travel all the way to Phnom Penh a chance to celebrate their wedding with them. After a much simpler dinner we started dancing. Khmer dancing really does seem to consist of sticking something in the center of the room or courtyard and everyone dancing around it. It is a beautiful form of dancing though. Several of my friends from the orphanage gave me some lessons. They are very patient teachers, but perhaps after a few more dance parties I will get the hang of it.

My small group at the orphanage began Friday and I am excited for what God is going to do through this time. Right now I have 13 beautiful girls who are coming ranging from age 4-16, but we'll make it work. I know that God has so much he wants to speak to them during our time together on Friday afternoons. Pray that he would speak through me and Seang, our translator, clearly and that his power would be made real in their lives. I believe he wants to bring healing and wholeness to them and then through them to others.

We've also been seeing some great changes at the military hospital. One sweet little woman had a beautiful baby girl last week. They are looking for formula for her right about now because as I found out Friday, the mother has AIDS and cannot breastfeed the baby. Please pray that God would protect this baby girl from the disease and heal her parents. There is also another young woman with AIDS who is about to give birth, so pray for her also. The families come together to everything we do. The children sit through the Bible study with their parents just like the parents come to the children's program and participate in the games and crafts we do. Tuesdays we have a Bible study in the afternoon and on Thursdays we have a time of fellowship. This week on both days there was so much joy in our meeting room. I was left amazed at their ability to laugh in spite of their circumstances and I am challenged to live a life filled with more joy because some of them do not have hope to hold onto, but I know Jesus . . .

And during the afternoons while the youth center is open I have found myself a seat at the table outside downstairs and am always surrounded by several students eager to practice their English. God has been preparing their hearts so much. Some of them are so hungry for the truth. It is exciting to talk to them. And some of them are trying to teach me words in Khmer that I don't even know in English, but we're working on that.

Pray that God's kingdom be advanced in this nation, that we as a staff here are willing to walk in complete obedience to what God is calling us to and don't shy away from the unlovely or the disheartening times, but walk filled with his joy and his love reach out to everyone we come in contact with.

Khmer Weddings

2006-11-04T01:02:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I was given the amazing opportunity to attend my first Khmer wedding. Makara, one of the Khmer girls on staff and Sam, a missionary from Switzerland were married in Kompong Speu, a province about an hour outside of Phnom Penh. Khmer weddings are a little different from American weddings, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. This was a Christian wedding, so it was much shorter than a traditional Buddhist wedding which could last up to three days.

The wedding began early in the morning when we lined up around the corner from her house with gifts to bring to the family. Traditionally the groom would have walked from his house to hers even if it was in a different village, but they made a slight adjustment in Sam's case. Once the gifts were presented the bride and groom entered and some sort of negotiations with the parents took place while the guests ate breakfast.

After we finished eating we traveled to the church nearby where a more traditional service took place complete with Khmer and Swiss worship songs and Sam's father playing a beautiful song on his pipe from Switzerland to the amazement of the Khmer guests.

Following the church wedding we were taken back to the bride's house and served lunch before having some time to rest in the afternoon. The part of the wedding that most of the guests actually attend did not begin until four or so in the afternoon and was a seven or eight course meal served to each table as they were ready. While we were eating there was live Khmer music and some Swiss worship songs by Sam's very musical family. Following the meal we again through flowers and silly string at the bride and groom before they walked around the table with the cake sitting on it three times and blew out candles. After serving their parents each a bite of cake the dance party began- all around the table with the cake on it.

Sam probably wore five different suits over the course of the day and Makara had maybe seven dresses. It was definitely a different kind of wedding, but it's great to be able to experience another culture and realize that just because things are different from what I am used to they are not wrong. There is so much diversity in the world and I believe God loves it- because he created it.